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drugs
Your essence
the greatest present is to be blest with your presence
engaging with you in matrimony, the best life sentence
dressed or undressed I must address its simply splendid
your scented like tulips in the rain, im plagued with it
infinite enlightenment seeps under my weeping eyes
I try to hide but I cant deny that loves been realized
I married your heart and mine like the sun and sky
you pull me in the like the ocean tide in summer time
now I ponder why discovery of this high took so long
when your absent im withdrawn cuz my drug is gone
your smile
your zealous light for life makes the heavens jealous
starry stares and dispersed air was the glue that held us
I never felt this, abundant ambiance that alters me so
I know your glow predisposed my cold when im alone
ruby red cheeks complete with simple dimples speak
you make my knees weak, with the opposite of bleak
im meek around the sound of your vibrant laughter
after her glance passed I flashed one laugh back at her
speaking of matter you’re my air, water, and one care
living light headed with you is something I cant share
your touch
graceful as raindrops falling from clouds to dance on ice
excite my night, fight my plight of pain, fingers exercise
no surprise ecstasy relinquished me and I fell for eternity
canyons and chasms grade the way we paved our memory
only now knowing this was meant to be, I escape in you
leave deep into the forest dreams to rest, in sense intrude
trespass through me existentially adding ultra adrenaline
my high settled in, held close your heart sends mine rhythm
elegance and you equal the perfect synonym, and im under
I wonder, my heart explodes like thunder, love plundered
your love
overwhelms and entombs my drenched senses with rain
shattered tears batter fears of loneliness scattered my brain
I maintain magnetic with you, immune to separating issues
kiss you with promises of breath, incessantly cry into tissues
pursue to glide high off our currents that connect and collide
not at all deprived even after sunset we have eternal sunshine
im lost in a daze amazed by your ways and rays of light
I might have lost some thing but I have everything in sight
you are all my retinas see and nothing impedes this scene
wrapped in the serene I see u r love and love are drugs
look what they did to me
I took the greatest fall and fell deep
finding, addicted to love is a reality
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great concept and brilliantly structured man, you're definately elavating. good vocab, the imagery was great and the occasional multi's really helped the flow of the piece. i really can't fault this on anything major, it was a good piece all round
H'n'R stay elavating! woot!
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Great play on words man. I definatly like the approach you took to this piece. Would have been real easy to just write about getting high but you took an elevated approach to the subject. As you know I'm a sucker for love shit so I personally loved it. I thought you did well with your imagery and vocab. Like J6F said you didn't have a lot of multi's but I really don't think they were necessary in a piece like this. good luck in SS man, keep reppin.
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Your play on words here made this piece what it was...a great piece...the concept was a great idea you made everything feel so good...as if harmless...you depict it almost beautifully...this piece was filled with creativeness and great imagery to go along with it...your talent truly shone here...your words and choice of words injected the images in my head literally...much props...if you get time peep my latest...peace..-E-
The Return (Po'Ethics)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...25#post2293825
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Very nice piece fam...the topic drugs it's played like football.but you really approached it from a total different angle.and that's good,especially for SS.your wordplay was very good.the imagery was done skilfull,you've took time on it,and it shows.and i liked how u've started with your essence,then your smile,then your touch...you've gradually got into the idea of being inlove...the flow and rhymescheme were on point.i couldn't quite picture multis there in the pace i was reading it...Good luck in SS to you and to Na!
They didn't want me there...
*goes and thinks about sinucide*
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wow thank you guys very much for the feed. i am really liking the new rules in om. but you guys always give me good feed. thank you all very much it means a lot.
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wow thank you guys very much for the feed. i am really liking the new rules in om. but you guys always give me good feed. thank you all very much it means a lot.
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wake up. i havent wrote this good in a long ass time. please gimme some more feed
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This was a nice peice man. I saw great emotion in this peice and it came with a very nice flow. Your play on words was outstanding. When i seen you drop this in our SS battle i thought i had lost, But hey i came out on top. But IMO you won. A very good, emotional clever peice man.
Keep it up
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thank you very much for the respect. your piece was very nice as well. yeah i knew it would be close. i am kinda sore about the whole thing. not that i thought mine was much better then yours just that the voters didnt seem to understand what i was saying and then tell me i lacked imagery and multi's, which i didnt. thank you very much though your verse was very nice as well.
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Some people dont like my short replys. But i do.
This was real good Djb, your imagery was nice and kept me interested. I think you could try to expand/get more indepth with your figures of speach. but this was cool. keep expanding your limits.
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yo man hot verse really was feelin this one a good deep verse or verses and was feelin ur flow but u need to work mo on tha word structure aight man but u good man just work on that and keep tha flow steady and u b good aight overall verses rate-9.0/10 good job very good hot verse man foreal
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well... i couldn't try to take out specific lines i liked and tell you what i liked about them, and go in depth and shit like that... but that could take hours, since that whole verse was great throughout. you came with awesome rhymes, a real nice flow, and how you wrote this song was really creative. this was really good shit man; i know i'mma check up on yer rhymes whenever i need ta read somethin phat
keep writin