Too Much Drama

Drama is everywere
but it seems nobody cares
bullets left & right
will I stay or get up & fight
cops arresting people by there color
one day they'll get shot & be put six feet under
violence is the key to survial
to stay friends or each others rival
4 those who think this read the bible
4 u it will be very reliable
drama is like a plague
4 those who live in drama ur life is begin delay
14 & 15 year old kids shooting
ending little kids lives
parents wanting to save them if they try
Puerto Ricans killing Puerto Ricans
Blacks killing Blacks
Damn! this dumb shit is wack

This was ok. Open up some on your word usage. No prob on the subject and where you're trying to go with it. But if you're going to try and go...go all the way. Keystyle is nice if you have one but dont be fooled. Most of these cats getting mad props waste the ink and paper before calling what they do keystyles. You appear to have messages. If so. The best message is the one thought out. One

This piece was in all right piece..........I can see your message an what your trying to get accross......Keep it up......try an keep your flow consistent.....an up your vocab a bit.......this message would be great if you took the time to elaborate more on it.......keep at it dawg! hit my latest open mic up man! Thanks.....keep it up...
Like A Phoenix Out Of The Ashes...(Reborn)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...38#post1193138

Yeah i agree this was alright overall i thought.....structure could be fixed up a bit though.....the flow in this was alright, it flowed through out the piece but it got off at some points though for me....vocab was ok, it should be up'd though...keep at it.

nice shit would have been better if it had alittle more vocab, other than that it flowed nice and had good message almost like them afterschool specials that use to be on at noon on nbc it's was good tho