troubled wits

my troubled wits are disguised by a subtle grin
its devilish, as i rub my chin where the stubble is
my knuckles split,
when drugs produce-that utter excitment
cus i always carry two bags..but thier under my eye lids
when i try to hide it, my emotions are shown vibrant
the commotion that's enclosed will overthrow tyrannts
heads spins like a siren,
after my balance is lost and i fall down
scatter to grab my talented thoughts as they crawl out
grasp ideas til my hands are damged and break up
draw 'em out fast with a canvas and paint brush
i need to wake up and, respect my logical best work,
is only a spec of sand that makes up the topical desert
forever my brain contains, painful stains that became faded
while i sat in the rain, they washed away as i waited
so plain & blatent,
i collapsed the trash the paragraphs were entrapped with
graphed a plan, and added images that were graphic
dont know what happened, with my thoughtful entire plot
but i just started rappin', cus i toppled my writers block !

Dope ^ ^ ^ ...the way this shit just flows its perfect.
told you fuckers this aint no newbie

this deserves some feed back

i will peep yur shit just drop some links

???????

yo i was feeling this personally i saw no real error except that its slept on.

thanks for at least replying

yup this was pretty good... i liked it for the the content... which goes to show the flow was on the down low... nah wut i mean?

^not really

^ Lol.

.. Cool piece man, a little shorter than what im used to reading from you .. flow came off nice, good writers voice, transitions just seemed effortless which was dope. Well worded, multi's came off nice - held it together well. I wasnt feeling the "Bags under my eyes" line, already seen it done as a punch .. lol .. short and to the point, not one of the best ive read from you .. but it was a good drop.

RTM needs to hurry the fuck up and re-open, OOTS - Bitch!

nice spit fo sho. Flow was on point, some nice word play, an all around nice drop son. A'yo, what part of the roc you from kid? Im from rochester n.y myself yo. Just moved out to cali after i grauated from high school......get at me yo, 1

Didnt like the begining lines:\ made me almost not
wanna read the rest but, it got better some
Lines that are sick and some a little played.
but u got me thinkin so Im cool with that.