ablazing haze

how we blaze it up up in the north..

receiving healing green like breathing the smoke from eden
but this garden has a warning of the fruit which is forbidden
feeling small when the state is god and you just a mortal adam
who hides cos of the bite he took from the fucking apple
battle is on with the god who we don't trust no more
we don't use dollars but bush is alright indoors
fight the war fuck the norm like zach against the machine
and still they come asking where you was and who you was with
slow in the process like fridays late night taxis
i'm tired of them musty closest and hustle codes if you ask me
i ain't all about illegal activities but still mr. woodpecker keep checking
my id's constantly

still we're on the camera every action is photographed
we all signed the deal with our personal autographes
to the document called as the vip for the citizens
very infamous person for me but i'm just a lyricist
the big brother is listening tapped our phones yo
now the green thumb is itching so we got to keep it low-
profile fine buds growing bright light keeps glowing
these ho's will blow it hard and you'll come before you even noticed
i wrote this for everyone you got the skills in it
taking it chill with it when you be dealing with the nst get ill with it
and every one of you suckers will know that we won't stop
but rock the show for sho :thumbup:

that was my first thread guys...feel free to let me know if my spelling ain't right.

This had shitty flow, and 75% of your bars didnt rhyme. You had weak vocab and theres alot to fix up here. Fix up the flow, the rhyme scheme, and use larger vocab...or just quit rapping. Jusk Kidding, keep trying.

You need to leave 2 links of replies or this gets closed, Thanks.

wasnt feeling this... work on rhyming to start off, then move on to complexity.... if it dont rhyme, you cant build on it

mc pinacle, my bars didn't rhyme? if so...then we must have different idea what rap is. weak vocab...yeah i admit that...workin on it all the time. "fix up the flow"? have you heard it?

Closed, Posted Back Without Links.