Sidewinder Vs. Rhetoric

14 lines....
due by tomorrow night...
topic: You can never forget a face
good luck man...

Check...g'luck

[/i]You Can Never Forget A Face[/i]

It was dark but the silouette was unforgetably prominent
A shadow lurking towards me demanding me for my wallet
A rough featured chin, with patches of hair not clean shaven
Bloodshot eyes, with a snarl on his lips, he was rantin and ravin
Dimples deep in his cheeks remeniscent of coarse, rigid craters
With two scars under his left eye, imitating tortured traitors
Brandishing a hunting knife, he muttered orders in a raspy voice
His eyes stared straght into mine tellin me I had no other choice
Hands shaking and sweating, I reached in my back pocket for money
He must of takin it as a threat cause he leapt forward, put steel on me
Blade became one with my adams apple, as my skin absobed the edge
I felt hot and flushed, then cold as I slipped deep into unconscienceness
Blurerd images eventually faded out, as he slowly let my limp body fall
I will never forget that horrid face, because it was the last image I saw

You Can Never Forget A Face

It was dark but the silouette was unforgetably prominent
A shadow lurking towards me demanding me for my wallet
A rough featured chin, with patches of hair not clean shaven
Bloodshot eyes, with a snarl on his lips, he was rantin and ravin
Dimples deep in his cheeks remeniscent of coarse, rigid craters
With two scars under his left eye, imitating tortured traitors
Brandishing a hunting knife, he muttered orders in a raspy voice
His eyes stared straght into mine tellin me I had no other choice
Hands shaking and sweating, I reached in my back pocket for money
He must of takin it as a threat cause he leapt forward, put steel on me
Blade became one with my adams apple, as my skin absobed the edge
I felt hot and flushed, then cold as I slipped deep into unconscienceness
Blurerd images eventually faded out, as he slowly let my limp body fall
I will never forget that horrid face, because it was the last image I saw

You could say that silence is golden,being that words are often misconstrued
when painfully conveyed the wrong way emotions tend to end up confused
cuz far more powerful than spoken language,is the power of perception
for the confession of true feelings lies in ones facial expressions
a canvas for thought assesment, impressions are left in an instant
moods are fleshed out through gestures such as an eyebrow's ascension
Not to mention that with a simple smile, demeanor can be suggested
a clue to their current attitude exuded frowns require no questions
infinite variations subdue words, spontaneously impeding them
Assesment's immediate succeeding tears bleeding, from optical mediums
speech is not needed when...just a glimpse provides more than answers
for an accurate portrait of one's soul could never b rendered through banter
this is why u could say a thousand words...an 1 look would take its place
cuz' while speech is lost forever.. I could never forget a face


.

u could say that silence is golden being that words r often misconstrued
when painfully conveyed the wrong way emotions tend to end up confused
cuz far more powerful than spoken language .. is the power of perception
for the confession of true feelings lies in ones facial expressions
a canvas for thought assesment, impressions are left in an instant ...
moods are fleshed out through gestures such as an eyebrow's ascension
Not to mention that with a simple smile, demeanor can be suggested...
a clue to their current attitude exuded frowns require no questions
infinite variations subdue words, spontaneously impeding them..
Assesment's immediate succeeding tears bleeding, from optical mediums
speech is not needed when ... just a glimpse provides more than answers
for an accurate portrait of one's soul could never b rendered through banter
this is why u could say a thousand words.. an 1 look would take its place
cuz' while speech is lost forever.. I could never forget a face

uppin............................................. ..................................................

up..come one and hit this please

damm wtf?....................vote...................... ....................up #2

up2......

this is pathetic not one vote.............................................. .................
.................................................. ..........................to the top #3.......

okay

okay verses from both of you....i enjoyed them both....i was feelin rhetoric's shit until the end of it i kina didnt understand the shit at the end and you flow was alil off along with the structure i didnt like very much.....work on that you should be good....sidewinder i enjoyed your verse..i was feelin your flow...not choppy at all.....your structure was on all the way...and your shit was good all around....not a bad battle but im gonna have to give this to sidewinnder

v/sidewinder

thought both had decent verses... but one stood out to me with alot better immagery, really building a picture of the topic and this is sidewinder, he had good flow, but i felt both stretched out the lines a bit.... the scheme both used was quite simplistic, but in topicals, its more about the content, so dont matter.... but like i said vote/sidewinder........ props to both.... ~one~.. keep elevating

decent work both - Flow - I thought Rhetorics was on a little bit more here - they both flowed pretty well - but I thought I saw some transitions included by him so this goes to Rhetoric

Concept - Once again both did this pretty well also - Rhetoric built steadily towards a point and Sidewinder told a story - this is pretty close - the imagery in the story was done well - I could see the scene taking place - the argument progressed smoothly - didn't feel like you forced any rhymes - I'm going to call this area a tie.

Overall - v/ Rhetoric for slightly better flow and pretty even concept

up3