..Reverse Childhood..

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=131864
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=130769&page=2

..My sterile abode was a serene place..
..couldnt wait for the day to see my mothers face..
..her alias is unknown as I yearn to leave the womb..
..abruptly the fluids shortened with rapid pace..
..all I heard was my mother screaming in pain as i ripped thru her flesh..
..9 months of hard burden, it was worth it I guess..
..the doctors were traumatized by the site of this birth..
..I was an old man crawlin on an ice cold turf..
..I turned around to see my mother there was nothing but blood on her bed..
..blatant attempts to revive her at 10pm she was pronounced dead..
..I cried that night, young tears over mature birth..
..big medical bill, but only a penny was what I was worth..
..A human being born grown but over the years I got younger..
..narcotics became a part of me, legs got a little stronger..
..there I sat consuming white lines til I felt a buzz that was obtuse..
..thoughtz went to war with corruption, mind suffered mad abuse..
..I had collapsed on the floor, backwards adolescence took its toll..
..from senior to adolescent i was only 14 years old..
..basketball to eating fruit loops and saturday morning cartoons..
..wish I could float above the sky like helium filled balloons..
..neglected by my father he was the cause of my affliction..
..arrested and died in prison, he faced criminal conviction..
..I started feeling immature by the second, "NO!", old age is my weapon..
..its like a horror flick, but advised are the viewer's discretion..
..I was now a baby speaking with newborn speech..
..legs got very weak, "where the hell are my teeth!"..
..penis got extremely small I was going to die a virgin anyway..
..I was an embryo now, my vivid vision would disintegrate..
..my world would be no more, I was nothing but an atom..
..the reason for this is unknown, its too difficult to fathom..
..is man suppose to live backwards and die new in this universe..
..it must be Gods will cuz it was Adam's birth..

Hmmm. not to bad dawg.. I liked the structure of this piece... some imagery was there, and it was pretty decent. Flow was ok.. could have been a little bit better. Not a bad piece. Rating. 8.4/10

LOL! I had to read this shit again.. sorry dawg.. its just funny to think about Comin out out ur mama old, and dieing like a little embryo! LOL!

Nice piece..
definitly had imagery..
nice vocabulary..
Nice topic somewhat orginal...
structure was definitly there...
You should definitly keep droping these open mics..
pretty good at them

"..penis got extremely small I was going to die a virgin anyway..
..I was an embryo now, my vivid vision would disintegrate.."

funny yet deep...

this was an ill drop very nice vocab plus it made me start thinking which is a hard thing do with this thick ass skull of mine i loved the last 6 bars looking for more from ya

thx...uppin fo mo feed

any mo feed plz drop links ill return favor