Chapter 1 - The UnLit Candle

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...69#post1528069
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...97#post1528097

...:::Chapter 1: The Unlit Candle:::...

---In The Beginning----

Stars had alluminated the sky, as hallucination had cried
It's multiple voices spoke to god, intrude his space in his mind
It said..
Loneliness is inexplicable in pain, but theres an alternative
Right now it's conservative, but theres another path deservin it
A look, where you can have pride with something prosperous
But with that, eternity maybe forfeit, cutting your esophagus
It was existence was mild, as life's distance was miles
He found assistants, a child, as this instant was wild

---Thus It Began----

Mental cells imprisoned with bars, as he envisioned the stars
To be black's counterpart, with sound and heart, it glistened by far
But the stars were idle desciples, they hungered some friends
So to break the sunder in them, he began to utter an end
Along came the planetary spheres, and humanitaries here
They were perfect and clean, which said sanitary's near
Equilibrium, voluminous, the peace was just elusiveness
The well being promoted, everything salubrious
At the age of one and two, galaxies formed gravities
To hold their own alone, batteries charged all of blasphemy
So in all honesty, it's promising that the hand's infinite
With fingers passing limits, graspin with it plants in trinities
At the age of three, there stands with dignity a land of trilogies
Enduring the previous chapters, as He scanned diligantly
Civilization was born, tranquility sustained in a pattern
Where heads are leveled like equanimity remains in this rapture

---The Growth of Life---

At first, the forsaken fears weren't heard by His own naked ears
But for once, he is stunned by this noise, so He then takes a mere
Glance at the universe, a devine creation he didn't know
Despite he manufactured it's success within a driven flow
Like water was a convertible reversable to make ya mind
Life stole second place first, so you could say it takes the time
To get to understand the carnage that harnest it's nature
Regardin the demolition that's beginnin harmin the stature........


PS This is going to be a trilogy.. so this is just the first chapter

do not sleep people..

Wow....nice piece man....I liked the content of it, once i started reading it, i kinda got sucked in and wanted to keep reading...the vocab in this piece was real good, didnt really over do it though...had some nice multies through out the piece, I like multies :)...flow was pretty good i thought, a little I dunno choppy at parts but it wasnt really bad at all just seemed a tad off but nothing like major or anything for that matter...but overall man it was a nice piece, i enjoyed it.

thx yo, much props man

uppin this shit

uppin like a motha

werdness...

...this was tight...

flow was pretty ill...multis were tight like their is no tomorrow...vocab was good as always...content was tight...overall, ill drop...

and thats word.

Shit was sick, couldn't stop reading.............keep spittin the sick shit!!!!!!!!

much props to yall, uppin this shit, f'real

The Illness Is Flowing Through G Funk And Now Me As He Unwravels Chapter 1 - The UnLit Candle...Wow, Gotta Pick My Socks Off Tha Ground Cuz You Juz Blew Em Off.

G Funk (Ahh Fuck It I'ma Paste All 3 Verses Cuz The Whole Damn Thang Was Dope) : Stars had alluminated the sky, as hallucination had cried
It's multiple voices spoke to god, intrude his space in his mind
It said..
Loneliness is inexplicable in pain, but theres an alternative
Right now it's conservative, but theres another path deservin it
A look, where you can have pride with something prosperous
But with that, eternity maybe forfeit, cutting your esophagus
It was existence was mild, as life's distance was miles
He found assistants, a child, as this instant was wild

Mental cells imprisoned with bars, as he envisioned the stars
To be black's counterpart, with sound and heart, it glistened by far
But the stars were idle desciples, they hungered some friends
So to break the sunder in them, he began to utter an end
Along came the planetary spheres, and humanitaries here
They were perfect and clean, which said sanitary's near
Equilibrium, voluminous, the peace was just elusiveness
The well being promoted, everything salubrious
At the age of one and two, galaxies formed gravities
To hold their own alone, batteries charged all of blasphemy
So in all honesty, it's promising that the hand's infinite
With fingers passing limits, graspin with it plants in trinities
At the age of three, there stands with dignity a land of trilogies
Enduring the previous chapters, as He scanned diligantly
Civilization was born, tranquility sustained in a pattern
Where heads are leveled like equanimity remains in this rapture

At first, the forsaken fears weren't heard by His own naked ears
But for once, he is stunned by this noise, so He then takes a mere
Glance at the universe, a devine creation he didn't know
Despite he manufactured it's success within a driven flow
Like water was a convertible reversable to make ya mind
Life stole second place first, so you could say it takes the time
To get to understand the carnage that harnest it's nature
Regardin the demolition that's beginnin harmin the stature

Wheww That Was ILLness At Large, Dope Vocabulary And Rhyme Scheme, Could Use More Wordplays Cuz Yah Got Some Metaz In There, But Throw In A Lil More...This Is A Beautiful Piece And A Classic In My Mind. Thanx For Givin Me Words For Thought, CANT WAIT Till Chapter 2, The Pressure Is On You G Funk.

Payce.

thx man, really appreciate the love.. haveta return the love so i'mma try checkin out yo shit, much props

uppin this shit, holla

WOW people

uhh... amazing? dope shit