set-ignorance vs Twixn...(Topical)

aight...

Topic is Fate

30 Lines

Verses Due Friday

..... yeh

check check............................................. .................. :thefinger

wow my bad im a lil baked..... ill get and admin to switch name hahaha sorry

check

Thread title fixed.

So, Tis Shit In By Friday ... Coo... Check In... Fuckin Roasty..... Fate Be The Topical...!!!

Aight Here Goes.....


This Guy Was Lonely, Had No Interaction With Anyone Cept Himself
So Skinny And Boney, Ppl Would Glare And Ponder About His Health
Walking 2wards The Library, When He Ditched And Had Second Thoughts
...............Skipped Down A Back Alley, Where No-Body Ever Walks
He Was Slumped In His Jersey.. Geekish Looking, Had No Courage
When Suddenly "Bump" Books Went Flying When He Hit This Blurry Image
Submerged By The Lights He Put His Hand To His Face And Apologised
"No Problem" Said The Young Lady, Who Was Geekish As He Was, 2 His Suprise
His Eyes Rised, And His Pupils Opened, Like Cupid Had Hit Him With An Arrow
She Sighed Blissfully, Pondered For Awhile, And Spoke, Her Lips So Narrow
"Im Sorry For The Inconvinience Sir, Can I Offer You A Suggestion?"
He Was Stunned By Her Facial Supplements, Which He Was Neva Gunna Question
The Interaction Was Lame, But The Chemistry Was Sparkling Like Water....
I Kno I've Skipped A Couple Of Frames, But They Are Married And Expectin A Daughter
So Whether True Love Is Real.. Or Just And Opticla Illusion ... Will Be A Debate
But One Thing "I" Can Deal With Is The Word And Meaning Of ... "Fate"


(Yo Not The Best.. But Im Not A Topical Person... On Mushy Shit.. Or Fate. ... No Worrys.. Its Coo. G'luck!)

Fate

The Angry business man quickly runs to his car in a sudden rush
his day has just began, he ate his food and gave his teeth a quick brush
he lives alone no one is ever home, work is his life no excitment or fun
his cell phone rings he answers, its his boss asking if the work is done

at the same time

A small girl runs out of her house crying, thinking no one cares
she was punished for lying, blind from eyes flooded with tears
she runs out onto the road, not knowing of the danger that lurks
she could hear a stranger yelling at someone about his gun that works

at the same time

Two young gangsters start fighting about their past tensions
one begins to depart not wanting harm, the other has evil intensions
pull out a gun and lets three go, his aim was off and three fly astray
one bullet shatters the window of the business man and blood goes up in a spray

Unwind

The car comes to a stop inches from the young girl... she drys her eyes
stange how this story comes to unfurl but to some no suprise
this supernatural fate, that is alway in debate, is it god with a messege?
or simple luck, these situations that we create there is no presage**

**Presage - a sing that something is about to happen

bleh... i had trouble with this one...

That Was Good Shit Man, Im Not Confident I Will Win This, But Im Not Really A Topical... Haha.. No Excuses... But Coo Shit Yo.. Swallow Back.. S.I

Both of you's came tyte...i liked both drops

Set - i liked ur use of complex words and usin love as fate. i liked ur endin too, questionin if true love exists...made me sit n think...hmmm...lol...overall a real nice drop. 7/10

Twixn - One word. DOPE. dope dope dope and more dope man...the build up was ill, the delivery was sick, and the finish was a lyrical disease. nice drop. i'd give u a 9/10

I cant vote yet cuz i dont got 'nuff posts...but feedback is always nice huh lol

1

thanks for the feedback... uppin

drop links... ill it em up with honest votes

uppin2............................................ .............................

i give it to twinx.....his shit was more intricate and tied together less loosely but i still liked it....ignorance as u sed ur not really a topical writer, but if u kept at it u could be better.... also some of ur rhymes were played and nursery

ok can both of u hit my sig id appreciate it as u do these votes...
vote honestly

nice battle. wish i could write topicals like you two. cant vote, but ima speek out on the battle.
both came with good flow and stucture, shows their skillz. I like Twixn's better because hiz showed how different action of different situation affect each others in ways we can't measure. kepin writin' :thefinger

i was feelin twixn's more cuz of the way he did it like if it were all goin at the same time and then it unwinds.....its like the story style homer came up with in the old old old stories he made good verse...but u both came very well i liked set's too and how he storied it in that way and well in overall i liked twixn's more
vote/twixn

thanks for the votes, ill hit up yah links yah drop with honest votes.

peace.