To Glance, Perchance to See (parts 1,2 and 3)

Part 1…

…My eyes met hers in glance
Perchance, to give advance sight
To events now past, it was late last...
December, sitting by the fire, nurturing dying embers
The splendor of snow giving the view a white hue,
True, a nuisance it proved to schools and business,
But the duties of nature were unabashedly endless
And fortuitous it was to me, that fruitless night, it seemed
Love would pass me by yet another year
In silent meditation, I shed a single tear
Which appeared to freeze in flight,
Reflecting the light of the fire into the ashen night
Enough to shift my sight from my trance to the frosted plants
And as I glanced over pallid plains
My view soon centered on a figure praying
Kneeling in the snow, an angel I presumed
So I rose from my loft and traversed the room
To my window pane so I could better perceive the being
A woman, who broke her conversation to breathe, she opened
Her eyes, which met mine, for a second a star shined
Far too bright, briefly blinding light
And she escaped into the night
And I ascended the flight of stairs into my room
And I settled to contemplate the events that had ensued...

Part 2

A week after the praying angel lit a star to run free
I was at the supermarket picking up my groceries
And much to my surprise whom other did I see
Than the praying star angel checkin food in aisle three
My mood gained levity and confidence increased
I felt butterflies in my stomach and cold air on my feet
But I gathered the strength to bring myself to speak

“Hello sweet angel”

I said from a little away

“Get away you creep!”

My advance was poorly received

“Im sorry, I know the angel part was a bit much
but a girl pretty as you is likely to drive a guy nuts”

She calmed her demeanor, seeing I wasn’t a freak
Only a love lorn man past his sexual peak
A man who spends his nights staring through the glass as he weeps
And lets his tears massage his cheeks until he falls asleep
Well, maybe Im giving her insight too much credit
But any sight I gave her in my life, I regret it
But of course, the desperate introvert I was
From this brief meaningless encounter
…
I thought I was in love

Part 3

Above our heads, the bells tolled, and told
The world of our bold decision
To join as one soul after two weeks known
We were grown and fed up
With unfulfilled promises from noncommittal kids
We were tired of the pointless affairs and simply bid
Them all goodbye as we made a knot and tied it
Reality hit, I had finally found a love for me
I couldn’t believe the image of this wonderful lady
A visage for weary spirits to guide them to heaven
Her nature was true to vision with a sinful twist hidden…

The life I envisioned to leave me fully content
Beat me down further with malevolent intent
The bitch couldn’t sit still, and gaze out the windowsill
Using vitriolic vituperations, constantly raving
of all my flaws, driving my whole hand through walls
I gave the union my all, but it was destined to fall
I made my decision to return to my somber prison
Any existence was better than how I was livin
I had written her a letter, about the grievances I had
With life
Although I wanted love, I had not used foresight
Our union was disillusioned and conceived of ill reason
I fell victim to the pain imposed by passing seasons
Composing passion to impose upon life a meaning
I sealed my letter of regrets unsaid
And laid it with a single rose upon our bed
I turned to leave the room and something struck my head
But, before it went dark, my gaze quickly danced
widlly searching for a source to the blow, it found a hand
and vision fading, traced it to the knife, the blade shined...
and my search stopped dead, perchance
to give the devil a chance to revel as...
my eyes met hers in glance...


by david alexander bryant jr

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=142368

i figured id try the story thing...

o and bounce, um, close whatever you want

Ridiculously gay how this hasn't had any feed. I, as a noble man will hit this up.

This was very light-hearted as far as light-hearted poetry goes, and was very mellow for me. It was like a soft serenade of words with grasping emotion and clinging originality.

Rhyme scheme was very creative, with a smooth flow and precise meter except for that long line(edit it before anyone sees it). Everything had smooth transitions and this poem was very laid-back and had some Victorian poetry elements with the old fashion writer's voice and words.
Vocab was tight. I had to get you to explain some of the words but they were used stragetically along with the metaphors involved. Most were very subliminal and popped out over the course of the story. I enjoy the humour in some parts and the way the story ended in tragedy, not passionate love. That shit is gay. I would go farther in depth but honestly, I am really tired. Edit that enlongated line and I will be compelled to nom' for Poetic legends. Peace.

I loved this hun. The flow was great and the imagery truely amazing. Structure was good and the scheme was as well. I loved the story line that you created. The ending was truely deep, and the first words was really nice. I wish I could go more in depth. I'll talk to you about it later. Great job hun. Keep up :)

thanks sweetie for the reply, and thanks pin...

This was awsome! The story thing really worked out nicely for you. The rhyme scheme that you used was different in a way (i guess you could say) but it was good none-the-less. The imagery was done out awsomely. The story to me was very interesting because it (to me) seemed like it began somewhere in the mid 1900's but then whe the man met the lady it switched to something like modern day, when they were married it seemed like it was between the two times. And the ending to me had seemed like it had come out of a mystery book or something along those lines. In the beggining i thought this would be another one of those 'happily ever after' poems (as even I myself have done) But this was a great poem and the ending to it was very creative. Great Job!

.........fav part.........

But, before it went dark, my gaze quickly danced
widlly searching for a source to the blow, it found a hand
and vision fading, traced it to the knife, the blade shined...
and my search stopped dead, perchance
to give the devil a chance to revel as...
my eyes met hers in glance...

keep droppin


....bless

uppin...close everything but this and one other poem....

uppity up

this isn't that logn and is really an easy read...

hmm up?

I just read this one and I'm going to bed right after i finish writing. but i think that this is one of my favorite poems that you've written. your vocab was good for the most part I had a few qualms with some of you word choice but you seem to have a decent concept of context. for example you said you acended the stairs. was that religious imagery? anyways i don't know why you chose to kill your narrator at the end. i think that's my biggest problem with the peice. but maybe it'll make more sense in the morning. good drop tho
1 luv