Aids = Death

We are all afraid of death//
Nobody want to take the last breath//
And for some it´s just coming to soon//
The only thing most people do is praying to God and watch the moon//
Why don´t we just do something real to better up the worlds-lifesituations//
Let´s all of us just give up all the possible complications//
And higher our goals and expectations//
Let´s take eachothers hands and stretch it out to them in need and to all of the worlds-publications//

There was 2.9 million people who died from AIDS in 2003, that was 2.9 million people to much//
Let´s all of us save some lifes and be “the good man in the clutch”//
If we start to look around us and watch the world poverty and all infections//
We can all get some healty reflections through our minds//
Let´s use our connections and give to the infected good directions//

You only get one life to live/
Can´t you take you act together and give other peoples lifes a chance of living to?/
It´s up to you!
Go to:
WWW.AIDS.COM
Read more and explore your mind//
Don´t Ignore your mind!//


Check this out:
1.
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1873482
2.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=158811

Okay,nice topic.
But your gonna first want to go about increasing the compelexity of the rhymes and shcheme.
Then move on to addin more imagery and vocabulary.
But you got potential.

Good topic and I liked the point. ya flow was a bit simple. Try some multie to spice things up. Also you might wanna get rid of the // at the end of ya lines. Make ya look like a newbie. It also seemed some lines were longer then others and that could have hurt the flow some. In all Id say its a good start and to keep at it and keep droping.

it was alright, good topic and stayed to the point. the flow was ok, and structure was alright. some lines were longer than others which hurt your flow some, but it was pretty decent though

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks