My Last Lyric For 2004

Intro - Track Shit
I Seen alot of shit happen this year,
my crew elvating
O.D.B. dyin
but to tha cops i still be lyin
HERE WE GO!

Verse 1 - Track Shit
i'ma see y'all in 2005//
i hope i still be alive//
me and orez, we burn many bitch ass soulz//
and boy, i learnt my lesson, just play our proper role//
i was born a lethal lyricist//
but no-body believed in this//
i'm gonna stay underground it's better wid who u know//
cos it don't really matter if u ain't got no doe//
this be more real than fake//
just like this some jake//
i gotta watch tha moves i make//
4 i be seen wid moneymake//
*HEY, HEY, HEY*
these bitch'z don't play, no gamez..
*HEY, HEY, HEY*
we ain't gon quit this, no way//
i be back in 2005//
makin this part of your life//
if u laugh at tha shit we do//
we pop a whole clip in you//

Chorus - Orez n Track Shit
this will be tha last lyric for 2004//
this shit we pumpin will make you get off the floor//
RE-RUN!
but fuck it, many souljaz dyin each weak//
just think of all the hearts slowly becoming weak//

Verse 2 - Madrap
i ain't stopin for no-one, once ur in u don't quit//
not even if my records sell just like it would for shit//
these faggots in here don't take me seriously//
but i don't give a fuck, they don't know who i be//
all they see is their shit, their dreams and their hopes//
and themself, there's no difference, so give it up hoes//
talking all this shit to me//
i'm wid trackshit and ORE to da Z//
fuck y'all.....

Outro - Track Shit
this be hot man.....orez, it's gonna be wut it's gonna be
fuck y'all hatin me, ur only hatin yaself
Peace Out!!!

no hate replies, no crew hatin, no other shit like that

u have the right enotion for this,but u need to work on the structure,the imagery, and word choice,aswell as spelling,you need to get more into details and so fourth....for this to become a good piece.....i think u need to read other om's and elevate alot before dropping another piece



3/10

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

???
what do u mean?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Credz

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

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i don't get it either man, explain it more

read the rules...

But....you have to reply to 2 other peoples open mics with decent feedback saying what you thought about their piece...and post the link to the pieces in your thread...and you must use 2 new pieces everytime you post a open mic.

ohhh, i get it now, i have to post on other peoples om's, and then leave the links here to show other people......sorry if it got my post count up, i got confused

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...41#post1907841

i couldn't find the other link i posted on, i replied on "The Godfather"'s OM
can't find it

need more feedback y'all

i think its really good! tell me what you think of mine?

can you please give me some more specific feedback, also, how can i tell you what i think of yours if i don't have a link,

0 0
\_/ :thumbup:

yo man da shit was alright but u need 2 elevate a little more, better structure, maybe throw some good rhymes in there. and better vocab other good open mic.

yo thnx bloods, i got another one comin, it's gonna be a keystyle with a simaliar topic as 2pacs "Changes" and eminems "Like Toy Soldiers"