LifeTime Addiction

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...51#post1966051
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=164341

LifeTime Addiction

I spelled out destiny as an infant with neon coloured crayons
But got sick under the influence of staying strong, smothered lungs
Music cured me but at the same time gave a life addiction
By giving me introspectism outside the box of fiction
And I have a lock on this diction with stress on the similes
As I sinfully weave a pattern so perfected that symetry
Envies this methodical use of words, themes, and plots
I crop the branches of my knowledge after I seen it rot
And withered a dead rose of love, and romantic things
I demanded the reigns of the anti-christ and his satanic Kings
Second handed sins, it passes through a bloodstream
And reflects the one beam of light that I don't need sunscreen
Double metaphors lull dreams so I'm thinking of it gettin better
I let my caged bird sore but return as pillows of pheonix feathers
These blankets of papyrus written by the same men they suffocate
Overwhelmed by divine diction hidden in bibles and dufflebags
Creating literary landmarks, then left as rubble on page
I stumble and gaze at this puzzle today escaping the looped snare
Mechanically approved as a labrat but more of an abused hare
Thoroughly bred from poetry, hopefully alive metaphorically
To expand my foundation of historically important authority
For my legacy to be more sincere than a memory of a faint poet
Mention me but I can't guarentee than there's a face more stoic
Of dried paint leaving legions and markings, poetically genius
In the prescence of a battle-orientated Spartan, theotically Jesus
With a pen, I devise a thesis, needless to say this is my region
Underneath the mainstream, and struggling just for my breathing
I hope I wash ashore to restore the seasons
Or at least get pummeled beneath the tide, without a eulogy
Spelled out my downfall on the townhall in spray paint
Beautifully.

Uppity Up motherfuckers.

A good piece overall her Pinny...very deep and thoughtout..
Word choice was god overall...but your words got jumbled
together in a few places...no biggie tho...internals were
overall nicely done...emotion was solid here...nice drop

please peep http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=164622

good shit - couple minor things - but the voice was in this - keep ya style - it works for ya

I liked this alot it was pretty deep. You had a lot of emotion in this and you did a nice job conveying it all. The flow was a little off to me at times, but it didn't really take away from it. I really did enjoy this and i'm lookin forward to seeing a lot more this good.
Keep it up

Dope drop, peeknuckle. You had some awesome imagery and metaphores in this. Word choice was unique and potrayed some deep emotion as well as contributing to the imagery. Flow was pretty good, it got off in a few places but the multis straightened that out pretty well. I love how you opened and ended it. Very nice drop homie. Keep this kinda writing up.

peace,
Mez

Good shit.......I don't think you can put it to a beat though. I don't know if that's what it was written for. Anyway, I enjoyed the read. I liked the flow, but at times it was too deep for my taste, but fuck it....

I want more opinions...

awww Luke your getting called Peeknuckle, how cute!

^Stop being an idiot. Up.

I am a better writer than you. So read this, and give me replies assholes.

well designed thought emmotional and trojected as such i have to admit this was almost flawless

Thanks. I will take links. It's just cause the OM section is so much shitty shit now, that I don't know where to begin looking for a dope piece.

I like this peice, very deep and lot of emotion use in it
it waz wriitin very well but alot of the words you rhyme were kind of small and weak
overall i waz feelin it and would think it would be a good audio

overall: 9.0 out of 10

(thats good considering i dont replie to most peoples garbage)

This was nice spoken you had some real nice meanings in this and some good metaphors. The flow was good and you had some good content with this piece.