Bye.

As time goes by I hold your picture close
Hoping that wanna day we will meet again my broken rose
Your petals may be falling, and your stem and leaves wilt
But thats nothing compared to this unbearable guilt
And all thats left is this last goodbye
Tears glitter like tainted gems in my empty eyes
The vacant look is there in everybodies face
Cos now your gone forever, without a trace
But, your memory will live on til my dying day
Til the day I don a wooden coat and decay away
But that day for me can't come a day too soon
& maybe when heaven calls....
I'll sing a different tune

this was good. i hope you feel better about whoever it was you lost.

Your petals may be falling, and your stem and leaves wilt
But thats nothing compared to this unbearable guilt

this stood out to me... the imagery and the pain conveyed was great... keep it up

yea, that was tight. sick imagery.

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

This was good. Nice imagery, pretty descriptive. Keep it up.

This Was Pretty Nice...
You Had Very Nice Emotion And The Imagery Was Decent...
But Definately The Strongest Aspec Of This Piece Was The Emotion...
Through Your Text You Brought The Piece To A More Physical Level...
Some Of My Favorite Lines Were:

As time goes by I hold your picture close
Hoping that wanna day we will meet again my broken rose
I Just Reeeeeeally Liked The Broken Rose Bit...
That Sounded Unqiue And Gave A Nice Mental Picture...

But, your memory will live on til my dying day
Til the day I don a wooden coat and decay away
Enjoyed The Metaphor You Used For Coffin There...
That Was A Very Nice Little Touch, Never Hear It Described Like That

Nooooow For The Negatives...
I Think This Should Have Been Alot Longer...
It Seams Like It Was Just A Short "Shit Off My Chest" Thing...
But You Should Concider Making It Longer...
Another Thing Was You Actual Writing Style...
Its Very Basic, Doesnt Really Have A Complex Rhym Scheme...
So It Can Get Alittle Boring...

But Other Than That The Piece Was Pretty Decent...
Stay Up And Keep Writing...
.One.