School

Some times in your life school may seem gay,
but if u dont go,
you'll join the kkk/
learning is not to cool,
but if u want a job,
u know you need to go to school/
rapping is a job,
in your spare time,
its only tight,
when you got real rhymes/
why do i think about others when im spittin this shit
i should clear my mind, to obtain better wit/
well im done with this spit,
dont like it? fuk it

im out


http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166176

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166521

This was a simple verse. There were stretched lines throughout. I'm not sure you got your point across strongly because you didn't stay on topic.

thanks for replying keep rappin i liked yours

Lack of vocab like a motherfucker. I mean I hate to be an asshole but you just don't give a shit man. You seem young and ill-read. Read more it'll give you more words to rhyme with. I ain't dissin you but damn man...you didn't even try.

Daym, Last Time I Was Rv I Loved How Everyone Was An Asshole...
Now Everyones All Nice And "I Hate To Be Rude"...
This Kids A Fucking Idiot And He Just Wasted Alot Of Peoples Time...

For One, You Rhyme Scheme Is To Basic...
You're Topic Is Garbage...
You Didnt Even Explore The Concept In Depth...
It Was Just There...
This Had No Emotion, No Imagery, Nothing...
The Best Thing About It Was It Had Short Lines So It Wasnt Long...

Whats The Point Of Just Dicking Around???...
If You Wanna Write Then Atleast Make A Valient Attempt...
.One.

^the truth



Atticus is my inner voice and he just said what I was too polite to say

ok well i dont really care what you think but i just wanted someone to read it

ok well i dont really care what you think but i just wanted someone to read it

ok well i dont really care what you think but i just wanted someone to read it

blend atticus and crazycarl together, and you get my reply

it really was the most simplistic shit i've heard in a long time (since PT_GOT)
try readin otiher peoples posts, listen to some more songs, get a feel for how things should flow

Some times in your life school may seem gay,
but if u dont go,
you'll join the kkk/

^ that didnt even make sense

if your goal was to write a PSA about stayin in school, then i think it worked, cuz if i was thinkin of droppin out and i read this, i was be like "damn, i need to keep my ass in"

really, i dont wanna be mean, but i cant help you out much more with this, you can only help so much, but if the talent aint there, theres nothin you can do

ok thanks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HyaLine

if your goal was to write a PSA about stayin in school, then i think it worked, cuz if i was thinkin of droppin out and i read this, i was be like "damn, i need to keep my ass in"

---

That didn't really make sense either, but i got the message and lmao at that.

SkoolKid, this verse was simple as can be, there was nothing at all nice about it.

Try rhyming more and making sense

peace