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Alley 54
The storm clouds commence, the thunder flashes after lightning
Theres people talking, Not knowing of my life so Frightening
And when I walked into the alley past the corner on fifty fourth
I never thought my life would change, didnt think it had much worth
He was a cop in his fifties walking down the avenues, nothing to do
So he walks into this bagel shop orders a coffee, and maybe a bagel or two
Walks out pouting knowing his career aint amount to much
He was a corrupt cop, but still dreaming of success and such
All he wanted now was to go out like a real New York City Hero
Little did He know...
She was a woman, in her thirties, failed in a long term relationship
Jumped overboard on long term relations, in a sex deprived predicament
But she never had the passion of someone needing her in a while
The crazy passion between both, The Sex craving emotions running wild
recounting on former nights, those endless sexual oddyssies of fun
She would Give it up to any guy right now...
...well, actually, almost anyone...
He was a former womanizer, maybe in a former life of his..
Never wanted to settle, plant seeds that'd grow into Kids..
But after that fatal night, he'd been deprived on any love..
The abuse of his younger years crept around and showed up..
Until one day he couldn't take it, he had to make love..
...Found a pretty girl, about his age, fuck it, face pure as a dove...
But maybe it wasnt, I dont care, I havent had love since a while ago..
But the man awoke demons unseen since Their deaths...
The one's who made the lady say ]B]NO[/B]
On that fateful day, As I turned and saw the Cops
I saw my friend shot, Pistol drawn, Head on a rock
A lady, legs open revealing blood down her legs..
and a man with the matching bullet wound...
...on their Heads...
The woman who wanted to feel passion whilst love making
In the newspapers now, is just in another prostitute slaying
The younger man, depicted as the cold blooded killer of all three..
whose intention was to find love, and it will stay a mystery...
And my friend, whom glory and respect to retire was his intention
Died the heroe's death, but due to it being the city's dark side..
wont get the heroes attention....
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i liked the story. it was a nice meaning behind the whole piece. you didn't overwhelm with your talents, just your story telling which isn't bad. there's one thing i'd like to point out. i don't know whether you intended to or not, but most of the piece your were more narrative and in some parts you were saying I, as in 1st person. other than that pretty nice drop.
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all and all a great mind can take anything and make it to art.you captured and gave personality to your characte rif not music thats is a gift.i like this alot.
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No, Your feedback sucked. Only 2 lines long? and you want decent feedback for your piece?
