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Letter to God
Dear God, i have many questions and comments for you,
In this letter, maybe we can make shit better, it's true,
Like why do the most innocent die, watchen the innocent cry,
It ain't fair how the belligerent rise, winning the ignorant prize,
Lets face the facts, we're surrounded by racist maniacs,
Shit, even the real micky mouse was supposed to be black,
When i was younger, i was in the subway, and i saw this picture,
It was graffati and in big words it said "i am not a nigger",
So i wondered, what was the meaning of that word,
Too young to get it, so my questions got me kicked to the curb,
I figured it was just a curse like fuck, bitch, shit, and ass,
So one time in 2nd grade, i got into an argument in class,
This dude dissed me, i called him a nigger, then got my ass kicked,
Cuz he knew what the word meant, and he was a black kid,
Afterwards i got in trouble with the teacher, he explained the definition,
Of such a word, and comen from the ghetto, i grew up with it,
So as i got older, i adapted to the word in the form of a slang,
But the word caused most of my fights, and issues with gangs,
And still, many niggas get mad cuz i say nigga all the time,
Well nigga nigga nigga, look nigga, i even said it in my rhyme,
I feel like when everybody's future comes, their past just fades,
But when the future comes to me, my past just stays,
Stuck in a labyrinth, mice for that chedder love, these beggers bug,
They kill and escetera, they even argue over who's the better thug,
Just spread the love, the way AIDS spread across Earth,
God, my legacy gotta be great, or theres no reason for my birth,
And sorry for barely ever goin to church, it hurts,
I'm gonna need a strong needle, to make this bubble burst,
Will i comit suicide?, i seriously doubt it,
Cuz i could live with life, but i can't live without it,
Are people mad at adam and eve, up there as we pray?
They have the right to, but still, there's somethin i gotta say,
See there's good, and good wouldn't exist if it wasn't for bad yo,
So other things come to mind, about snakes feeding you apples,
Struggling makes us strong, so maybe you want us to suffer,
Preparing us for the afterlife, so first we must overcome the gutter,
And where did you come from God?, who has created you,
And since i'm not sure, sometimes, i even pray for you,
I've neva hated you, but i have doubted your existence,
Cuz they say your close to me, but a far away distance,
I love you God, just keep my friends and family gaurded,
I thank Jesus Christ, tell him my revolution has just started,
And that i don't rock chains with crosses to show off and floss,
Tell him i recently found myself, and since birth i was lost,
Rest in peice to my grandfathers, which i never got to meet,
Rest in peice to everyone who inspired me, and helped me get off of the streets,
One day you will meet me tho, better believe it yo,
One love, trully yours, sincerely Mauricio,
Ps. rest in peice to the peeps on nine eleven,
Hold up, i don't think u'll get this letter, cuz i don't even know the address to heaven,
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...61#post2064661
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...80#post2064680
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yea i liked what u wrote bro, kinda reminded me of the song stan by em the way u ended it, i enjoyed the ending, i thought u spaced things out nice and u had some good lines in there its a subject that its hard to say the right things and know what to say but u handled it well, u could try to rhyme just a lil bit more some of rhymes u had weren't accually "rhymes" but it sounded good so keep on spittin
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This was dope...ayo man MattsGay4Shizzle is comin but back to the feed..
This was dope as all iono what..true to the end great storyline great way to lead n end...excellence is no where near what this is
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i liked the imagery u used,nice wordplay,flowed real smooth, it had comlexity, real nice rhyme scheme.anyway keep droppin tha hottness.~1~
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nice peice....put together well, would sound good in the audio i think also... keep uppn tha skills.. peace
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Great story, great vocab and sick flow, would sound great with audio. Some lines were cheesy which throwed off your consistancy in the overall verse. ie. "nigga nigga nigga"
however, its pretty funny, which overcomes and adds to the good audio. This piece reminds me of something eminem would write. Nice verse. 9/10
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Dear God, i have many questions and comments for you,
In this letter, maybe we can make shit better, it's true,
Like why do the most innocent die, watchen the innocent cry,
It ain't fair how the belligerent rise, winning the ignorant prize,
^^i like the way you started off the verse..>>>>
set the tone for the rest of it>>>>
lost me here n there through out the verse, maybe just cuz i cant read long periods of time without losing some interest, but u picked it up at the end of the verse and concluded it nicely, this was a kool piece, stayd to the topic nothing seemed forced, peep this out
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170305
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Damn.............i dont wanna seem like a D/r but shit.............this was the best open mic ive ever read...................EVER.....................iv e struggled with simular problems along the lines of the 'n' word as well since im white, and that helped me relate........ i liked the closer as well............you could not improve this peice anymore...its perfect.....i am headed over to nominate this right now..................Keep this kind of writing up moe...
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hey i thought this was great the imagery and just the way you worded it i really like the ending good job!
