One Verse Feedback

Im new to this site/but not new to the streets
im hear to say a lot of yall ryhmes are weak
try ta flow back on second thought btch u betta just delete
yall cant compete wit me its serious
my flowz got yall so shaked up u delirious
i throw mo bows than luda
so go home and pray to ya buda(buddists)
my ryhmes pack mo power than a mine
just remeber Que is here ta steal ya dymes
so pack up ya nines cuz i come in peace
nah truth is im here to icrease the deceased
so when u type my name count it as defeat
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this is just a quick 12 bar
tell me what i need ta work on

:confused:

i need to see more of ya work...so far you aight...jus expand that vocab..and do tha unexpected..

yeah you aiight son..
i can't tell you "do this, do that" cuz i'm a newbie..
but stay active kid!
.1.

it's good for a start it's kinda short but it flowed well the volcab wasn't anything special but it's a nice peice