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Letter In The Shaft
To Whom May Find this body-
I was Military Bounty Hunter, acting as a solider for the usa
wonderin the Jungles taking over making criminals haveta pay
Poacher for the Governer who set a shore to honorably
Enter into ventures of a metaphoric Oddysey
But Equador's Democracy honored religions
That set before the Prophecy of hostle Militias
Searchin areas with radar beams cast
For this terrorist wearin his trademark ski mask
Who exports various Cain portions
To Cuban fugatives in South America's rain forrests
The area's main courses of travel were speed boats
we Reconed to the battle deep inside these moats
Me and my boys deploid off ran for miles on the land
Six rockets go off lost in rush fall down in a mine shaft
Then they darted away, no one came to my aid
There i layed slayed in the chest forevere would stay
I sliced up my face even through my camoflauge
And threw my jacket off to use as bandage gauze
Days passed Diesese spread areas brushed off
Feeling light headed and sore from the blood loss
Destroying the skin through, lookin gross as it bubbled
Missing with all the tissue and exposin the muscle
The hunger had hit its end could hardly even talk
It damaged my nerves till my body went in shock
I got ahold up my body And again i was in control
felt the lord was nobody fuck what happens to my soul
As i die in this mine shaft alone hungry and thirsty here
I fear nothing atlast i can go home in the sky yes its near
So to whom may find this body and letter please tell this story
I man without a name but let him live on in all his glory
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that was good
Good imagery and nice vocab
Poacher for the Governer who set a shore to honorably
Enter into ventures of a metaphoric Oddysey
Nice line
Searchin areas with radar beams cast
For this terrorist wearin his trademark ski mask
I liked this one probably the best
i give this a 8/10
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thanxs man bumpin dont sleep leave links ill follow
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emotion was strong.. was structured nice, multis and vocab also were good.. was nice and creative, overal this was a pretty good drop, was feellin the emotion.. nice drop!
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tight peace... nice flow.. vocab was perfect not to many humungous words but just enough to make the song flow.....
nice rhyme sheme.....
peace
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This is a nice piece... Good vocab and story... The flow was good throughout. The only fault I can highlight is in my opinion some of the lines had shaky rhymes. This was very good but I think you've written better pieces. There isn't much for me to say here except nice work.
If you have time check out "Blind to Reality?" in my sig... I'd appreciate it.
Nice piece...
Peace
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word man
uppin for more crits
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this can easily be done in audio, great flow man. i loved the vocab real knowledge you droppin' here