Faces At My Window: Part Two.

............................... They have returned.......


The hardest thing to ask, through my window stands a deep burden
But not only that, they want me to come and talk by the curtains...
I'm completely certain... That God has bannished me from prayer...
And its working... glass is the only thing saving me... One layer.
It's a waver, a kiss upon dark beauty, I would never dare
They could be lying... Biting and scratching when I stare.
Am I prepared? Why they are hissing and screaming at me...
So I got up and opened my sad window to let them all free.
They sank into me, pleas broke from my lips as I began crying
The teeth of these fiends... Inside my body, they were lying....
And I was lying, there on my bed...... Sickened of human skin
They inpregnated me... I was going to give birth to one of them.
And just then... My eyes turned black and my feet were bit off
I threw up on my throat, blood fell out on my window... I coughed
The screeching dropped, and they are just getting ready to leave
And the voices stopped.................... But they're staring at me.

...This isn't the end, dont let me follow my dreams...

Written By: SinAmen
Story Line: Based On a True Vision..... If Not Real.

Purposes:

It is about Demons.
a couple nights of a week I see faces.
in the day time I hear cats hissing in my attic.... and it seems like they want out, but when I go up there there is nothing.
tonight, I wrote that poem, because there was screeching at my window.

Seems you taklin bout ghosts, If thats true thats some scary shit, lol. But this was a nice peace, Imagery was there it easily painted a picture, Some lines were off in flow, but overall this was a nice peace, U stayed on topic throu out the whole stoy, Good jo sin keep dropping.

Fav Lines:

And I was lying, there on my bed...... Sickened of human skin
They inpregnated me... I was going to give birth to one of them.

Nice imagery! Flow was consistant a few internals. Had a nice original concept.....all and all a nice piece definately worth the read good job and keep it up!

Aiy0 bruh......powerful piece.....every line brought a different image into my head and each line seemed to read deeper into your thoughts and emotions.....rele gave off a vibe from beginning to end although somehow i think this pertains to more than some supernatural demons.....but jeah......very powerful piece bruh.......keep it up

~1~

The hardest thing to ask, through my window stands a deep burden
But not only that, they want me to come and talk by the curtains...
I'm completely certain... That God has bannished me from prayer...
And its working... glass is the only thing saving me... One layer.
*the start is good, it catches me in the story... i wanna read more... what happens :-O ... anyway, good flow and good rhyming...*

It's a waver, a kiss upon dark beauty, I would never dare
They could be lying... Biting and scratching when I stare.
Am I prepared? Why they are hissing and screaming at me...
So I got up and opened my sad window to let them all free.
*good, really well explained, the thriller is still there...*

They sank into me, pleas broke from my lips as I began crying
The teeth of these fiends... Inside my body, they were lying....
And I was lying, there on my bed...... Sickened of human skin
They inpregnated me... I was going to give birth to one of them.
*really gruesome, really well thought and said, same good flow*

And just then... My eyes turned black and my feet were bit off
I threw up on my throat, blood fell out on my window... I coughed
The screeching dropped, and they are just getting ready to leave
And the voices stopped.................... But they're staring at me.
*like... Woow... this is really well caught as in action, well explained, the ending just gives that note of mistery and fear to it at a double dosage than before... really good concept, some original images, nice job, really well thought... can't say more... peace*

Uppin, thanks.

Definately enjoyed this one...i loved the imagery...at times i thought you should have worded some lines a lil better, perhaps to give it a darker feel...but nothing took away from it at all, aside from it being it parts...and i wouldnt explain it afterwards...let the readers develope thier own understanding of it...your imagery in this is too good to require an explaination...even mentioning its a true story, leave all that out...a piece is better when it makes the readers imagination soar even after they've finished reading it....excellent piece though....
...LRP...

The screeching dropped, and they are just getting ready to leave
And the voices stopped.................... But they're staring at me

that shit makes me think real creative damn..nice shit
holla

Nice Piece Didn't Read part One Ey But Let Me Get The Link I Want To Peep It Yo

^ good idea, for all of yall who wish to read number one..:

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=173601

yeah, i was looking for it but cudn't find it
thx for the link
can i reply to it there (i would be bringing it on top)

Sure..