will YOU remember me?

the day, chronilogicaly breaks us all down,
into microscopic elements of time and space,
and as i watch its victims pace in irrelevance,
i try to escape . imagine lines erase,
what would you do , if you knew, that today day was your last?
would you feel as if you lived life to the fullest?
or would you break down, mentally and physicaly collapse,
cause you knew that every sencond was jus bullshit,
at any split second, you could lose , everything you got,
aint no fuckin around wit the inevidable,
so i chisle my existance in your memory>
so when i leave , you'll know me and this mic were inseprable',
i dont got much to offer, just the blood that i bleed,
through this pen onto these crumpled up , peices of paper,
processed thru the brain, in the form of sound waves,
out my mouth , brought to you, in the form of a vapor,
word of mouth ,says i got what it takes,
to make these people start to bouncin' ,and smilin' a bit,
so i rip the spot everything last thing that i got,
cus when i get down, i like to get wild and shit,
i dont do this rhymin' for the fuck of it,
i do it for my self , to form a legacy,
but i aint tryin' to sound all veteran,
im claimin' my peace, i got a long dark road aheada' me,
so when i write down rhymes,
i tell it like it is, aint no pretendin' see,
i analyze my every word ,cause by these songs
is how you people will rememer me

yo that pretty sweet man good drop

preety tight but i could do BETTAA!!!! wahahah..


P.S i think

you need to drop two links that you have left DECENT feedback on or credz will close this.. (He asked for some help)

nice drop homie..overall this was a good verse

yo i wasnt really feeling this joint right here...there's a lot of things you coulda did to make it betta...you coulda used multies to make it flow better and used a more complex scheme...i dont know this was jus too basic for me...but i liked the message you were delivering cuz it made me think...overall i give this a 5/10 jus keep droppin and u'll elevate dawg...