The Meaning Of Life

When I was 12 my dog died...
when I was 24 my dad died...
I saw the meaning of life when I died...

Little girl ~ little world ~ standing in the living room
in the middle she twirls as this riddle swirls
meaning of life?
Couldn’t be farther from her mind
scampering here and there wherever her heart inclined
it was a marvelous time
full of ice cream treats and nice swim meets
where everybody got a medal
and nobody cared who was the pot or kettle
there were no colors and yet it was beautiful
a one note musical where she found perfection in the usual
the days blended together
seemingly ascendant forever
as she runs in a cowboy hat behind the dog sporting his "Indian feathers"
but one day the brave seems to lose heart
as he lay ignoring the hat and feather cue cards
and this girl pushes "Tar"
"come on, get up" but he stays where the cushions are
breathing heavily ~ lost in memories he would never leave
till finally he shudders one last time
and I watch that little girl ~ no ~ how fast I’m
growing up in those few moments
crying not from sorrow but from the knowledge that tomorrow
is somehow a mere reflection of these crude omens...

Grown lady ~ known as Sandy ~ sitting in the living room
alone and ailing where she writes poems daily
meaning of life?
She asks often ~ but no answers come
hands are wrung ~ brow is furrowed
but the thoughts disappear down a dirt road
that vanishes into the horizon
and yet manages to be surprising
that it's glimpsed at all
but casts an eventual pall
which is flawlessly shown by the unmentionable call
which I nevertheless record her receiving next
the phone rings ~ a promise of unknown things before the evening rests
the words are shocking ~ world rocking
any further sounds are meaningless
and she's ~ no ~ I'm trying to decide if I'm believing this
it seems more than impossible
and yet I'm already leaving for the hospital
days later my friends are still trying to comfort me
but I'm fine ~ I understand a little more of this question that's been stumping me
and in a way it's humbling
that sometimes the only way forward is while stumbling...

In the years afterward I went on a quest
left all my belongings ~ cause it seemed that maybe simple is best
I went here and there ~ and somehow ended in Tibet
at the foot of a mountain with just the wind and my breath
the locals said a holy man lived there
and the point I was at I just didn't care
I had tried starting and quitting prayer
country and city air
and nowhere was the question made any bit clear
but the experiences had me humble and meek
and there seemed something... spiritual
about living amongst the peaks
so I strapped on the boots and slung a rope over my shoulder
and to the sporadic clapping of youths I approached the closest boulder
I climbed and I climbed
as the dull ache of muscles seemed to take my troubles
to a different place and time
the wind blew ~ and seeped into
my body ~ slowly turning my limbs blue
the air grew thin
I constantly found myself groping to untie the rope only to behold a loose end
and when I thought I could take no more
I found myself before a stately door
or gate rather ~ pillars made from gathered
and random offerings
I looked out across the land from the view of gods and kings
in the center sat a wizened old man
who I approached reverently
he sat cross-legged ~ thighs beneath hands
with an expression close to heavenly
I sank to my knees and cried "wise one, please tell me.."
"..Tell me the meaning of life"
but he didn't move ~ not even his eyes
so I crawled closer ~ "please, please tell me"
but I only heard the echoes of my own wailings
tell I reached out with grief and doubt
and touched his aged knee
shocked, I looked at his face ~ and only now was the gray seen
he was frozen...
for a moment I felt broken ~ and then at last I understood
I pitched him from the mountain and sat where a hundred had and another hundred would
and I exhaled my story fervidly with my last ~ this breath
the meaning of life... is death...

I was 36.




This my writeup for finals in Lychem

My 2 Links:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...13#post2504413
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=198340

Quote:

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Tar

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My fist dog's name was Tarr. He was a black Lab. That has nothing to do with the story, but eeehh.

I thought the emotion could have been portrayed better and the link between the verses could have been a little stronger. I almost went with a very similar concept with my piece {meaning = death}, but people kept telling me that I wrote too many sad pieces. I wonder, are you forecasting your own death at the age of thirty six? I wonder because it seems like you're the character and you refered to yourself(the main character) as Sandy. Is this a prediction? Anyway, this was a cool read. Keep writing.

Please drop feed on my finals verse. The link's in my sig.

Uhhhh, fix those links please, the first one doesn't have any feed in it. The second one does, but the feed you left was very bad. You need to get two links, to two OMs you left decent feedback on, or this gets closed, thanks.