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Mother
Mother.
http://tinypic.com/5nnes9
stained satisfying sensations, creations of a mothers patience
remained a heartful formation, willing to part take salvation
inveterate desolate vacation, duties fill high priorities
love bundeled a hearts majority, asiding god's authorities
splitted minorites, caressing a child with focused blessings
beauticious lines expressing, not revealing shadows distressing
achievements commited blossums arouse for one venerated
father censor stated,no leaving marks of depress generated
feelings never faded, memories could include a life...it brewed
silent fued of euphoria glued, with a sense of success tattooed
one day concluded with a bliss kiss for a tired child.....
eyes drooped with a mild sigh, styled with loads beguiled
early morning's riled, raided a loud sound, so protrusive
escaping the bed, worried abusive...hurry the clothes for exclusive
soon intrusive, a break of silence spills....noticing mothers care
untared affair with a child, ready for a day so unaware
an unexisted beware, soothing morning to spring a day
fathers shift saves a moment, out of way to purchase a bouqet
the day decays, evening attains a sudden purple stain
fact remains, the enlightened mother sustains power to contain
calmness maintains...the black sky brings out a whitened moon
with a solace tune, a cogent laconism powers like a monsoon
a mothers animosity strikes prude, with a concious act
smeared of rectitude and exorbitance, with a frentic lack
ammicable attack, throbs painless existence with a brooding mother
always advising another, through lifes abbarations.....like no other
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Man, this piece was so emotional, and descriptive......
stained satisfying sensations, creations of a mothers patience
remained a heartful formation, willing to part take salvation
^that openor made my eyes bleed
calmness maintains...the black sky brings out a whitened moon
with a solace tune, a cogent laconism powers like a monsoon
^whoa......very, very advanced vocab, nice
Overall this was one of the best ive seen........and its honest.
i think legendary.
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very imaginative flow and structure were amazing vocab was great multis were good
Real good emotion and a decent topic ehich i beleive hasnt been picked before..
just 2 words to say.....Fuckin Amazin
definitely voted for hall of fame for june *props*
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inveterate desolate vacation, duties fill high priorities
love bundeled a hearts majority, asiding god's authorities
calmness maintains...the black sky brings out a whitened moon
with a solace tune, a cogent laconism powers like a monsoon
very nice with those two..the vocab was decent
somtimes a lil to much but you maged to find the
balance in most of it...flow was nice but somtimes
the tion rhymeing words can fuck it up but you had
it on lock...a very nice peice man pritty damn dope
just work on those rhyme schemes man add in different
ones....but overall very nice my man K and K0st - Av's Topical Gods.
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I hate suffix rhyming, because the words really don't rhyme, they just have the same suffix("tion", "ing" etc). Besides that, I thought the piece was decent. Description and everything was cool. Easy read. Keep writing.
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thought this was very nicely done....i didnt mind the "tion" rhyming so much...i thought it was a nice read...some of the words I felt were thrown in jus to rhyme however....i thought emotion was high and well done....overall this was a very solid drop
please re-peep the Pancakez collab...theres 3 different people...its not just Bounce
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=199395
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This was a great piece. Extremely descriptive and it really got done to the important and things taken for granted about a mother. The vocabulary was perfect, except the suffix rhyming, but I dont really mind that when overall the piece is terrific. I could feel the emotion U had throughout this whole drop...because it was always there, whether U would have used a large vocabulary or rhymed with "it" and "sit" I would have been able to feel the emotion...because I can tell U were really into this. Are U a mother Urself? Or lossed a mother? Becomes U seem to understand the complexity of motherhood to a 'T'.
And K0st...I read one of Ur battle verses earlier, and wondered how U were in Aesthetic Values, because the battle verse wasn't all that great....then I read this, and now I understand. This should definitly be nominated. And as K said...Ur one of the topical gods in my point of view
Nice drop...very enjoyable...
Rate - 10/10
Hit up one of my battles or open mics...
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Thanks, its just i really care for my mom's man.
does alot.
word
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Another dope writing from ya dude. The opening bar was dope, pulled me right in. Again, your vocab is crazy, in some parts, I almost think it was a little TO complex, but the description was dope, and the emotions was heavy. Flow was good here too, but like K said, maybe switch up your rhyme scheme here and there, just to add a little more flavor. Dope piece though, dude... hella better than anything I could write. Props.
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stained satisfying sensations, creations of a mothers patience
remained a heartful formation, willing to part take salvation
This first line drew me right in.
Then:
calmness maintains...the black sky brings out a whitened moon
with a solace tune, a cogent laconism powers like a monsoon
Just like that......You caught me from the beginning to the end. Sometimes it was like a thesaurus in their but this shit was Ill. you could tell there was alot of emotion placed into this piece. Im definately felling this. Tone down the big words a bit though son.
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very dope...very imaginative...very complex...deep emotion...i loved your wordplay..your multis...your vocab did come on a little strong...but understandable never the less...very deep emotion that was very much felt through out this whole piece.....rhyme scheme was ill...everything about this piece was ill...*Legendary*...id vote for it...shit i may do it matter of fact...ya never know..~1~
