The Only Option

The Only Option
.
Wishing for the flowers to hold me but all they do is look up at me.
Lonely, only the wind for company.
Boldly I stand under the rays of the sun, glum.
Undone by the clouds I was running from.
Stunned by the silence that surrounds my ears,
Overcome by the violence I suscribed to for years,
I died so many times, I was mindless and I cried so many tears.
Minus the fear, Im afraid to reappear.
Timeless, still fighting this tiredness to escape the nightmares.
But relighting my kindness for the will of the fight where I dare to die.
And my soul seeks evenescence but is to scared to try.
Ive been cursed by the look in my eye, it hurts to blink.
Everytime I sigh im forced to think and remember how it'll never end.
My stomach stinks of every friend ive ever seen blend into eachother.
My wrists link everytime I find a reason to believe in decieving another.
My mind deepens when I see the meanings is just to escape all my brothers.
And I lean toward these feeling of a mis-leading lover, while lost in the gutter.
I shudder to cast my mind over these memories,
I stutter and get lost in time, using up all my lives like seventy identities.
Ill never forget the menace or the intensity you expressed on me.
An ill never accept or heal the marks you left on me.
My scars are so empty they all physically misleading,
They're so deep and painful that they are visable demeaning.
My heart is so sharp that my arteries are bleending.
And I cant recieve another part of you, for fear of it leaving.
Im feeling it beating and kicking and hearing it screaming,
Im torn between the decision if its sickening or gleaming.
And I fall toward the incision and the bleeding just to escape the answer.
I hate the petty banter and the fact its a tantrum and cancer.
A lump growing in my womb, the tomb of the necromancer.
I feel its anger and its tools are already breaking through,
But I can never let it become for my hatred for you.
I was vacantly blue in the face through wheezing you name.
And now this is all I can do to help ease my pain.
ill still be bloated by the sorrow as I wake every morning,
The appaling road I must follow to regret its calling.
Ill honour its stalking only because you were my warning,
And Ill stop stalling and ignoring the cautions.
And carry on walking after the abortions.
.
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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...38#post2817638
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...58#post2817658
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3 Time OMHOF! You are obviously a good writer when it comes to OMs.
Great structure, "The Only Option" is a good and interesting title. Kids
on here just sleep on good shit like this. Very sad, especially the ending.

10/10

:thumbup:

Dope concept, very internalised but with strong imagery and great internal multi's to back it up. Vocab was spot on, the flow was shaky but the poetic mood of the piece off set this. I wish you'd increase the damn font size of your work though! I wear contacts man, this was not good for my eyes! You kept me reading til the end, difficult to do in a long piece. Glad you're finally back on the pulse Issue, we gotta get a collab going soon.

Hit 'n' Run, Def Poets.

This Piece Was Dope I Agree With Johnny You Should Make The Font Bigger So It's Easier On The Eyes LoL

Anyway this piece was full of the right vocab, helped me set a picture in my head which most people can't do so that's a good thing imagery was good,
one question was the ''My heart is so sharp that my arteries are bleending.'' meant to be ''My heart is so sharp that my arteries are bleeding.''?

This Was A Good Drop I Liked It..

PaRa

Hey man, not trying to hate or anything, your vocab was superb, but I got kinda lost... I'm notsure if it was the flow or the wording, and it would probably be easier to read if the font was a little bigger. Also the title 'The Only Option' didn't seem like it exactly fit the poem. I goota say though, you seem like you could do it. ....Jus my opinion...zprofessa

It looks stupid with the font bigger, ie lines become very stretched and go onto two lines and stuff, makes it not look good.

copy it to wordpad an make it bigger if u have a problem :P

And also, feel free to nominate this, someone gave it 10/10 an did u nominate?!?!

Upp'n

very ill....this piece had is all really....it did seem like a poetic piece almost to me....but it had tha vocab...it had tha wordplay....it had tha structure....i like tha font size.....it flowed very smoothly..all in all very ill piece...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~

This was a good interestin piece.The imagery was nice.Your flow was ok.Your choice of vocabulary made this piece interesting.I liked the wordplay your piece had,it was good.Theres nothing bad about your piece except for your font size,but other than that it was good from start to finish.

Thanks for the replies,

I know you read it at least some because you never just replied for my reply to links.


Upp'n

Real dope concept... I liked how everything was real internal... The multies were real nice, They pretty much made this piece work... A little to poetic for an open mic forum but nice job...

Thanks man, but Poetry comes across in OM all the time.

i appreciate ur feed.

Upp'n

Liked this piece

Imagry was on point, along with the emotion, I liked this piece for the sadness you prtrayed, it was good.. The vocab was nice, and the rhym scheme was decent, I think if you had a more original topic, this would be nominated for the hall of fame. Solid piece, stay up.

rtf |The Alien's Technique|

As said Issue,dope concept.Didn't have time lately to read some of your work,sorry for that.
I liked how the piece was more like an array of ideas put together.This made the emotion stood out more and gave more depth to the piece itself.The emotion was everywhere.I liked that i could feel the emotion and captured my attention.the imagery was also very nice,as i always see from you.You metaphors and vocabulary were good and i liked your wordchoices,without a few words you used mainly to keep the flow going(ii have this problem also sometimes).The rhymescheme worked well in most places,liked the multis.The flow was on point in most of the piece,in a few places i thought you could've made it better.I would've liked the meter faster in that places(especially at the end),to trow some short ideas of frustation and anger in it...i think that would've gave the emotion some new depths and really make the piece shine more.But hey...that's how i would've liked it more.But still a good piece Issue.Peace buddy!

I wanted a nomination!

lol.

Thanks Makeshyft and K9, appreciate the feed and Il reply the favour after work.

Upppppp

Bizzump!