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|The Alien's Technique|
|The Alien's Technique|
My blade is drenched with drops of blood, a glowing inferno emits from my sword
Enemies surround me, but don’t agitate my stance as I turn the battlefield into a morgue
Men with metal pieces have destroyed my army, the last of the petal’s resistance
For centuries tombstones have been sculpted due to the unknown enemy’s persistence
The spirit of the tiger in me is fading, dandelion seeds blow like snow in the wind
One thousand men surround me, and I ready the execution of the plague to begin
My cutting edge evolves at the speed of light, and the souls of my kind erupt
..Yellow ghosts consume the souls of my enemies, and I feel my master’s touch
A haze of pink smoke enlights the field, and I undertake the essence of foreign craft
An alien style of fighting consumed me, the demon race will soon feel my wrath
My green eyes are the source of my energy, for they have seen the dawn before life
..Perfected the skills, that wield the knife, and I set a course to enforce what’s right
My destination is the center of darkness, a town full of large objects, as high as the clouds
With strange flying inventions, and buggies that glide along the black ground
Through a forest I see my fate, I see my sacrifice.. the town is glowing with light
And I make my way to the dim lit city, camouflaged by the galaxy’s mystical night
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An army stood before me…
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Three, cloaked men approached the grounds in witch I stood, confused I draw my blade
Removing their robes, wings sprouted from their sides, and their skin began to fade
The ghosts of retribution, once holy .. turned to darkness pure, they fight for sickly fate
I raise my sword high, peering at the hellish enemy, the sky opens into a dimensional gate
A monster leeks out of the hole, so powerful..time is slowed down for a fractional second
The ground explodes, quaking the city shattering glass, and I poise in the snakes infection
My monster descends down to me, and the ghosts infuriated, now prepared to fracture
I beckon the beast to destroy the city, the spirit of the lion I have finally captured
The ghosts rush me, I use the dragon’s tale to destroy a fiend, anger entangled me
A ghost ripped the flesh off my back, and the other one attacked skillfully…
But I dodge the attempt, and using the eagle’s nest and petal’s beauty break
The two last twisted souls, who have now dissolved into the abyss, death’s silent lake
The people of the city launch tubes of fire into the air at my monster, he’s falling
But.. with his death comes a new life, as the city’s souls are feverishly crawling..
Back to the darkness, the source..
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I have done the devil well.
Link'z
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it was kinda stretched a little..but it was very intricate....complexy and your imagery was excellent...your vocab was tight and it flowed very smoothly...this piece was very ill......keep droppin tha hottness.~1~
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Dopeness, loved the topic and the imagery you used was fucking crazy. Decent vocab although the rhymes could've been a lot more complex. Maybe the lines were a little overtstretched but the the weight of the story kept me glued to the screen until i'd finished reading. Entertaining stuff, epsecially for a written. I think this is worthy of a nomination, good work. Probably the best i've read from you.
Thanks for the rep.
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Damn this was dope dont remember reading a piece like this before it was different so i was really feeling it. Your imagery and vocab was the strongest points of the piece your imagery brought the story to life.
You kept the story consistent which is hard to do with a story rap like this cause the story was quite complex. The structure wasnt too bad so forget about that, the flow wasnt too strong in this piece but it was dope none the less, it was a great dark story i really enjoyed reading it, peace.
Return the feed if you got time:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=215428
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^ thx for all the feed, warchild I'll rtf tonight,
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word this was a good peice, it had good imagry almost the whole time, at parts it fell off. The flow was close to perfect..structure was close to perfect as well, but work on having stretched lines, some parts needed wording, and some multies i felt were forced. But for the most part, good peice..keep it up.
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This piece was good man. I could sorta picture it well enough to get the whole story and I really liked the vocab cuz it went so well with the piece. A great drop keep it up man. Oh and also try to keep it shorter lol the flow was good but it was stretched, but still a nice piece man overall: 9.5/10..jsut the structure kept it there lol
