My Jobs Pwn You....

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Grocery Store
I'll speak the truth, I love to talk to my mom, origins the phone booth.
And I use a three foot child's basketball goal like it'll elevate my hoops.
You really don't want to fuck with me, I won't just bag your groceries,
and man my station as a true thug, watching over the dope delicasses.
I'll bring your melons home with me, so we can play a game of Scrabble,
my poker face is like I have a royal flush... after noblemen pull the handle.
They say that I steal money as a cashier... but here I'm free to register,
and I write long stories to the newspaper and get a fuck you from the editor.

Burger King
My online girlfriends call me a good listener, then I respond 'hey, i'm back',
because I don't really give a shit, because those chubbies really got slack.
I claim to be really deep...but when I talk about human sin I mean cinnamin.
I take burgers off the stove bare handed & have a voice like a drunk indian.
On World of Warcraft I slice and dice through the so evilly nice orc hordes,
and I'm writing this fucking stupid ass OM because I'm so goddamn bored.
I'm really fucking hood, we all know it's good, I drive by through the border,
now welcome to Burger King, how the fucking hell can I take your order?

Veternarian
My friends call me a dawg, call me a vet, but don't heed my constant pleas,
that I'm a comedian and to put me on Blue Collar cause I got annoying fleas.
They say I'm gross, a pedophile, but that's a job I reserve for my secretary.
(she's a cardboard cutout of a supermodel, but that's between you and me.)
I sabotage the better rapper dogs who come in by giving Kibble's and Bits,
their bite is worse then their bark, and not even logged trees really fall for it.

Robot Builder
It's great to know it's so easy, I don't get queasy when I set the mood....
I don't need to call her, but I have to turn the dial, else she'll be real rude.
Not to intrude on the story, but you're probably wondering how I got this,
turns out that I'm the only one there who didn't have some drug in their piss.
Well, I did put some cocaine in their cups and switched it, tides are turning,
because I'd be sent to jail in an instant from the results, LSD is my urine.

I'll get some links soon...