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feelins in heart
4 a while i thought i would end all this fallin in love shit/
faithful 2 em all and they always end up havin another bitch/
heart constantly broken, mind and feelins stayed spoken/
it was either me or the other gurl and i neva got chosen/
heart fucked up so many times from false love and misleadin/
got frustrated, cut ma arms up all u could see wuz me bleedin/
cant trust another nigga they are so mysterious/
wanna play and laugh when i wanted ta talk n be serious/
niggaz fuck wit ma mind believin em was always so instant/
little did i kno that their love 4 me wuz so distant/
wanna b cared 4, n ma eyes bad things will always happen/
dude didnt listen ta me cus he wuz 2 busy freestylin and rappin/
1 niga always told me that we would stick togetha thru the batter or da worse/
i dont see how that could work if all these hoes come first/
truly bein happy in life is what i dram of/
its all because of love, that i wish i could drop deade n fly wit da angels above/
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ok! can i get some feed back on this i wanna kno what ya'll truthly honestly think about this
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Yo Thats some real shit ma' I'm serious thas ill... keep it comin Be Ez.
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thank yu i was jus speakin the real... its the truth doe so i rapped about the shit thats goin down
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the rhymes were good homie
topic was real nice, i enjoyed it through out
flow was smooth and really god making it easier to read
strucutre was alos really good
good job on this drop and keep it up
keep droppin too
-skribble
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ok den scribble thank yu for yo comment... sometimes most people say my structure b off.. but thanx for yo feed back yamean
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yo this is some real rap
for a gurl ya style is bucked
I was felling the pain dude pit on you
you made that real
good expression threw out the flow
good length in your wording
you this is a good piece
good luck and keep drop good shit
holla back at youre boy Lucci
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It was an ok topic, more original would've been good. You had some ok vocab and a few decent imagery lines. Some multi's would've helped the flow. Just keep working on that and think of more creative topics and you'll elavate.
keep posting, and please return the favour: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=218833
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you need to elevate..you did have a few good lines...but for the most part..you need some better vocab....and you need some multis..all in all this piece has potential..keep elevatin and droppin.~1`
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thank ya'll for ya'll comments
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can i get some more feed back on dis.......
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That was tight man, I felt that shit. Yor right dog, being happy in life is definitely the most important thing.
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yea it sure is... i go thru alota shit, so jus kno that when i post shit, i b goin thru somethin and the shit really happened cus i write shit when i get mad basically, but im glad u liked it doe thank u
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This wasn't too bad. It was emotional, which is good, and had some good imagery. You could have made it flow a little better maybe, and up the vocab a little. Some of the rhmyes weren't perfect either. It wasn't too bad in all though. I enjoyed reading it, and you approached the topic well (even if some people feel the topic was a bad idea). Keep at it.
Can you return the favour and leave feedback in the Open Mic in my sig? I'd greatly appreciate it.
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thank u for that... and tru, i'll hit it up for u and see wutz good