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From his view.
The sun glared.. Angrily on the man who comes here
Beaten and broken but proud in a way that none fear
Or none care, either way it’s this essence he shows
That carries him above the world and if his step coulda told
A story. then im sure it woulda shown what would dawn
Or told about the many paths and the water it stood on
Or maybe told about the times it knelt and cried for help
Willing to die itself just so some could slide from hell
See this guy was well…it’s sorta hard to describe him
He had a vibe so commanding like he was partly a titan
And the way his head turned and the look that he gave
Would give a feeling so peaceful that it took it away..
The pain, the suffering, the hurt, and the list goes on..
A soul that clashed and contrasted so how could this go on?
Is what I thought, chuz what I saw, before me was a man
And what a loss, who would’ve wrought, him with this plan
..But it goes on..
I’ve debated the choice, turned and weighted my course
My patience devoid, and used, they’re hatred is coarse
And without reasons or facts they just hate him because
He says he’s the ‘Son of God’. They’re bent on takin’ his blood
How mistaken it was, the graver it was, now im facin these thugs
Who faces were uhh..so evil not even a savior could love
But..he never showed fear that part was just dead weird
Even though they clenched weapons as sharp as his headgear
Yeah..i never mentioned this, but what turns men to fists
Clenched and tense they turn on men who’s defenseless
And reject sentences of twisted men who’ll sin again
who lie with temptresses, murder,& hurt the simplest kids
they live by whim, it so senseless I cant make sense of them
as if someone’s gripping them, splitting them, so no one’s listenin.
Created a rift in them..
..i had to choose..
I tried and i lost, I tried to deny them the cost
Remember jesus isn’t the only man to die when he’s crossed
So I bided him off., and washed my hands of the whole thing
I’ve never seen so many people ready to kill their own king
The scorn, the hate, the anger, the pain, the rage was insane
How this was takin’ away, from this saviors reign
Or maybe he was just makin it rain..
..this mans walk..
They laughed and jabbed, pointed and stabbed and bragged
Then strapped his back, with a cross that made the chariots axel crack
It was sadly mad, the whips with points that scratched his back
That he grabbed the mass…es by staying strong I was actually glad
That..he could just stand and reach, this man was weak
I had a hole in my heart to match his hands and feat
This man could bleed... even his tears were red
His hair was red, from the cuts that teared his head.
His walk was long and torturous, Sun..off and on it scorcher’d us
Went from wine to water cups, to being despised and martyred but..
He never trembled, never feared, he never gave in
To satan, or whatever it was that faced him
And hated him, they made of him, a lost soul on the hilltop
My thoughts were “this will stop!” but fact was it will not
..and alas..
He finally sighed away with his last breath
And everyone knew he was the son of God from what happens…
Next..
The curtains tore on the temple so far away
That.
Even now new ones put up will hardly stay
And the pain in his voice was so hard to hear
That.
It made statues and the frozen hearted start to tear
And lastly the greatest sound from his mouth made the earth shake
To leave everything around devastated in the earthquake.
He was Jesus of Nazareth the ‘King of the Jews’
He spread love and his miracles, he treated the fools
Till they traded and beat him..he was bleedin’ and bruised
And even when they kicked him..he’d still wash their feet and their shoes.
Pontius Pilate.
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Very nice daz......Its good to see you being active in this forum man, i was really feeling this....very emotional and descrpitve.....it was also friggin original. Not much i can say besides ill piece man. Im nominating it =D
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Daz... homie... I felt this more than any OM I've ever read.
this, is the stuff legends are made of. this was real. stay writing
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gotta say..flow was great
story was coo...pretty vivid imagery
i felt this one....cept the whole cross part
but thats personal ish...still
def a dope read
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well.. whats there to say? this is the illest shit i ever saw you do in OM..
shit's crazy fam.
this is legends material.
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wether it's legendary or not its unquestionably quality.
usually with pieces like this, the flow suffers from to many meaningless meta's and the wrong use of big words.
it's what gave this piece, beside the pure content, a nice feel..a good read.
the storyline is good, a peek in the mind of the writer is giving with great imagery.
i already got a love for this piece just for the fact he even took on a topic like this.
it's like the bad man everyone knows, finally had a voice to speak his side.
i think you filled it in perfectly, most would've gone about it with a approach to solely put him in a even more hated position.
As for the writing he made the facts show the other side of the medal.
I could go on, but it'd just be more different words to describe how much i like this piece.
extremely well written Daz.
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original piece here, haven't seen many religious stuff in this forum
this verse coming from a Pontius' point of view instead of Jesus just makes even more interesting.
Or maybe told about the times it knelt and cried for help
Willing to die itself just so some could slide from hell
liked that bar a lot somehow
and the whole in-depth description of his suffering had a lot of emotion
They laughed and jabbed, pointed and stabbed and bragged
Then strapped his back, with a cross that made the chariots axel crack
It was sadly mad, the whips with points that scratched his back
That he grabbed the mass…es by staying strong I was actually glad
this kind of description of the happenings is really appealing.
also, the pace at which this story was told was perfect, it wasn't so jumpy with the happenings and it was very descriptive of the atmosphere during each part.
the description of the emotions post-death was really moving too. it captured the feelings well.
and the last part just sums up this verse of d0peness.
descriptive, emotional, and a great storyline format.
overall
10/10
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real dope. strong wording and good storytelling. cool shit yo.
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thaT WAS good nice flow jus good 9/10
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man, wtf? this shit wack.
sike, this shit was dope as fuck, its so dope it looked like I ghostwrote this shit for you. Like, from the 4th line, I already knew who you were talkin about. ya flow was on point son, this whole peice is tight, while reading it, I had nothig but flashes of passions of the christ going through my head.
I thought this bar was hard;
But..he never showed fear that part was just dead weird
Even though they clenched weapons as sharp as his headgear
that was the highlight of the entire peice, this is legendary.
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thanks..could someone legends nom it then
