Lessons Learned

My life is all good now got me a job I'm in the moment
But my moment is robbed by a guy a guy that is tormented
With everything thats he's been through
Seems like he going to have to work out some issues
I told him everything is going to be alright
But he persisted that I was talking out the side of my neck
The moment came when his mother arrived
She said "Get yo ass in this car your broke ass daddy sent me a check"
I knew right then that I was going to have a challenge against me
How come everybody keeps going against thee
Man who want more for others rather himself
Sombody tell me where I went wrong when I was loosing my breath
I was loosing my mind outside it was raining cold
And I was bold cause I stood there chilling my soul
My momma say there would be days like this
But I ain't listen Next time I know when it's time to pay attention..........

Straight drop, topic was ok, so was the vocab.. your structur need alil work..keep uppin'

decent drop.... could've upped the vocab and made the flow go together a bit better though...

stay up and keep droppin though and you'll elevate....
1

fix your rhyme scheme....elevate your wordplay and vocab...use some complexity....i didnt care too much for your topic...good imagery though.....all in all a pretty decent drop...stayed consistent for tha most part...keep elevatin and droppin...hit up tha link in my sig titled Concrete Roses...id appreciate it..~1~

what he said above, expand you mind

Straight drop... Flow n' all that was cool.
-Pz.

The rhymes through me off in spots, partly for where they were placed, and also some were a stretch to rhyme. The piece came off as somewhat personal, keep working to bring in more emotion. Certain parts showed potential though.