Quote:
The corporate ladder, propped in front of my path, awaits
Directly relates to my status, and any influence I create
Pretty good bar... made me want to start reading some more of it. The inner-rhyme on the second line is decent as well, and the first line is pretty cool. 7.5/10[/b]
Quote:
That escalator, merely steps away, is inaccessible
More fortunate cohorts drive my fury to irrepressible
Good long ending rhymes...okay lines. 7/10
Quote:
Effortless elevation in the face of my climb
They peer over, as if disgraced by the time...
Pretty good...flowed nicely. Not really outstanding. Good alliteration. 8/10
Quote:
Put into an area I do not enjoy thoroughly
Subconsciously I employ jealousy
Jealously doesn't really rhyme with thoroughly...enjoy and employ do. Pretty good. 7.5
Quote:
They have what I deserve, the statement I dwell upon
Left to observe, wanting what their pockets swell from
from and upon don't rhyme... swell and dwell though...you keep doing good on the inner rhyme. 7.5/10
Quote:
I grasp the ladder’s frame, needing to make up position
More talent, if not the same, why can’t I get recognition?
Once more, you used a good many-syllabled end rhyme. Also, nice inner rhyme. 8/10
Quote:
They will become the big tree that towers above me
Branching out, their power is stretched, more widely seen
I, like the rest, have not accepted this as simply routine
Nice...wordplay, metaphors, you got a lot in this verse. 8/10
Quote:
Those with my situation, stand below, sharp with emotion
We are the small axe, ready to cut, bringing their demotion
Dope finisher. 8/10
Overall- I'll give it an 8/10. It's nice, you had some dope inner-rhyme, wordplay, pretty good concept. Keep dropping. Also, RTF on either Animated Creatures or Forbidden Fruits.
