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End Of The Old
With a cold glare, he laced his kicks up
to go where, he could hang up pictures
Mixed up, had a black garbage sack of clothes
A box of belongings, and half a roach
set his box on the ground, inhales the smoke deep
and pulls his coat coller up to the cold breeze
it's raining outside when he closes his eyelids
and trys to find his inner alliance
with god, now more then ever lacks defiance
his gloomy day, even dark burned his eyes red
and he no longer had shelter provided
didnt know what to do? turn to violence
or turn to restart the life he never seen
and find a new bitch to fuck every week
gold up in his teeth, blah; yea right
its puff to belive, he'd have that life
or as his predecessors, could repeat the truth
and find his head hurt, strung up in a noose
he lost the only thing hr knew, or could relate to
never thought they'd be apart, but this what fate do
every day had faith too, now it finally come tru
but now he's confused, dont know who to pray to
or what to do, sent out on his own and lifes hard
after serving twenty five years behind bars
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I read this...and had a preformed opinion of where I thought this was going...
Then came to the last bar...and was like, woah!
I thought this was some Hurricane Katrina survivor at first...
Or some cat outta an abusive home...
Something been done to death.
But that was a nice as shit twist, man...never saw the prison angle coming.
Props on that...
Blah, blah, blah...you already know it but flow was superb...some real good finds with rhyming words...I'd have never figured "kicks up/pictures" or "eyelids/alliance" would flow so well together. Again, nice work.
Thanks for hitting mine...and thanks for the good read in return!
Peace
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You know what, i liked this for one reason, cos it was simple and straight to tha point
Tha vocab wasnt really what i would call outstanding, but sometimes OM's dont need it,
Tha strengh of this piece was tha emotion and some of tha imagery,
Iunno why but this piece appealed to me
Iunno what i was thinking before i got to tha end of it, but like Born said tha prison angle was dope
Could you help with feedback on my OM.. tha link is in my sig.would be apreciated
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Holy shit, this was dope as hell.
V/Legends.
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yeah man this was real good. nice flow through out and just all together dope. the vocab was on key, topic was dope, structure was all good. for bein such a short piece this was pretty damn good. ive only seen a few good real short pieces and this has gota be one of the better ones. good job on this man. please check my om called the darkness inside
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nice drop... good imagery.. what can I say. you know what it is
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dope shit vy. i like your om writing style. welcome back.
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alot of the lines didnt really rhyme. like u didnt take the time, to find the right rhyme.
it has a nice story tho.
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lol your a fucking idiot^. a word can have more then 1 letter difference and rhyme.
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Meh originality and imagery were present.
Flow scheme was simplistic. Look like you rushed
this piece somewhat next time take your time.
Short but didn't lack discription. If you spent a lot
of time on this piece then it was par, if
you rushed it then it was above par.
ok piece.
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your style and flow is raw the vocab is good your all around soild maybe we can callab get at me on a private message or something looking forward to seeing more of your shit cuz ya nasty...get at me peace
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this better @ least get hof idiots
