Theres Drama In The Club

Im Going More Of A Commercial Feel On This Piece
So Judge It Off Of That, Feedback Please! I'll Return The Favor,
Enjoy!



( Verse 1 )

i step up in the club witta gleam lookin clean
searching for them good lookin ladies yadaimean
i tell em i got a rocket like yao ming, i dont wear no bling
im here lookin for a sex fiend, lookin to have a sex fling
i rap baby gurl i dont sing but i'll take one for the team
let me make ur body cream, im ready to do naughty things
all of a sudden dude pops up outta nowhere
screamin n yellin about how he dont share
hes all up in my face witta a strong tone in his voice
i told em calm down boy now u oughtta make a choice
u can either walk away now or u can keep ya poise
or u can meet my buddy on my waist to seize the noise
but dude stood tall, threw his hands up n lunged
threw a punch, missed, somehow ended up at my nuts
socked em in his face once, then he started gettin stomped out
snatched his chain, took the keys to his range, n threw the chump out!

{ Music Pauses }

"YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!"


(Chorus)

2X
Theres drama in the club, thugs packin the snub
shorties backin it up, wankstas gettin they ass punk'd!
theres drama in the club, dudes tryin to mug
shorties eyein me up, now im tryin to fuck
theres drama in the club!


( Verse 2 )

im up in modesto ready to step up into fat cats
shorties lookin bomb so of course imma get at that
but with my luck she gotta ol man now he tryin to fight
followin us aroun all night, im like a'ight, so i confront the guy
he wants me to meet him in the front outside
he yellin out "Riverside" then he pulls out a knife
so my boy runs up on him and catches em witta right
another night, another dude gettin stomped out tryin to take flight
dude aint got nothin on him so i jus jack his j's
i feel enraged but now its back to the stage
me n the brook mobb gettin crunk in the club
gettin blown off that bud, ladies showin us love
im gettin hyphy with them bay area groupies
white black n mexican i got me a bay area smoothie
i was feelin coo off the booze til dude scuffed my shoe
that aint cool now im acting a fool! so i hit em witta stool!



(Chorus)

2X
Theres drama in the club, thugs packin the snub
shorties backin it up, wankstas gettin they ass punk'd!
theres drama in the club, dudes tryin to mug
shorties eyein me up, now im tryin to fuck
theres drama in the club!





http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=145132
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=144622

Nice i can actually imagine some artists singin that its dope

yeah as you said this was very thuggish commercial stuff. makes sense for the area you live in. yukmouth type of vibe is what i got. as an om it fell a little short of my expectations, but nearly every one i read does. you did have a nice flow to it, but because this was basically a weak story telling imm knock you da fuck out piece i couldnt get much into the content. for what you were aiming for you hit right about where you wanted i would assume. not bad for doing this type i guess. sorry not a good judge of this type of thing because i dont listen to it. thanks for the feed on mine.

fa sho thanks for the feed... its coo i aint expecting to get the best of replies to this for the fact that it isnt my strongest point but i jus wanted to see wat kind of feed i would get off of doin a piece like this ... lets get some more feed in since my last one got slept on...

uppin.... lets get some thoughts in

ROFLMAO


"i step up in the club witta gleam lookin clean
searching for them good lookin ladies yadaimean"





ahhahsdhasdhasdfasdgfsdfgdsfgfg



Please, get over your fear of bunji jumping and do us all a favor.


too bad nowadays it's all safe 'n shit..

i take it ur not from california so i dont expect u to get that but if u need me to explain that to u then hit me up n i will explain it to u otherwise get a dictionary n do us all a favor n suck a dick! too bad now a days they got flavored condoms n shit

upppin..................

damn that shit was ill u from shadowbrook thats cool im from watts C.A. keep reppin

Write one about Subway now.

wtF?! ^^

uppiinn...........................

G-money man i figured u would be too good for this site, what the hell u doing on it? fuck these noobies and lamers man and stick to the good sites..

^^lmao....stick to the good sites????.....fuckin moron......all sites with over 5000 users are the same.....its jus the sites u probable talkin bout, u been at a while and got dickriders.....fuck outta here wit the bullshit....quit postin and leave

shit was pretty tight.

there's a few lines that could have been better and/or don't make sense....like:
or u can meet my buddy on my waist to seize the noise

maybe you meant cease the noise, ionno.

Also, first you say you gleam, then u say you have no bling...

other than that though, good flow, structure, and vocab.

if anyone could check out either of the battles in my sig, that'd be straight...good looks in advance to anyone that does.

one.