Death is Certain.

You just found out you have A.I.D.S..expand

ferocious to people..never knew something so potent, so evil
insides imploding about to plummet cuz you're hopelessly feeble
virus corrosive you're being punished tryna stomach what's lethal
silent cries are quickly muffled like you were mumbling the keynotes
wished it'd be revoked...try fighting THE disease of diseases
deprived from weakness trying to hide all of ur obscene lesions
pleading to God to relieve it as U try to defeat all the demons
living life by the seasons wondering when u'll be deceased &..
it seems that u're the talk of the scene, like u're what's famous
love tainted...family looks on like you're contagious
tenants wanting ur space vacant..co-workers suggest resignation
being patient as u wait as a patient for ur medication
just waiting...knowing u lose, just a loss, or either
creating a scare cuz u ain't immune to a cough or fever
delaying death's clock...just to keep mourning all miserable
hating the step u took to make a stop for that morning physical
now u're pitiful.....every night as you lie in your sheets
weeping, crying, praying...then wake up with a sigh of relief
not dying atleast..not today, taking out your supply of weed
feeling alive and free....inhale, relax eyes, & release
why die so violently...go down as another black statistical victim
fighting your system as u try to adapt to all the critical symptoms
hoping to outlive them, just zoning out as u tear to this song
appear to be gone..wanting Just a Moment, like Nasty and Quan
try to carry it on, but death's watching steadily following ur figure
there's no tomorrow, drowning ur sorrow swallowing bottles of liquor
causing throbs in ur liver..joy? my thoughts too hollow to remember
wanting ur heart to just wither while ur finger's massaging the trigger
enough tears to model a river...wanting to acknowledge the killer
what was the motive, why were u the target, & the plot's getting thicker
try to add props to this picture..they deserved to be jailed or beheaded
for being so reckless and negligent wanting to kill yourself any second!
blah...feeling so pathetic, stupid, obnoxious, and desperate
cuz u made the choice what, where, when, and who to have sex with..
now you're destined...a paid price just need to accept through learning
that life can't be played twice because death is certain..

Not a true story, but people do deal with this everyday.

-Nique

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...75#post3304375

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=240447

straight pieace okay structure but i don't like da way it was set up meaning you should of centered it and bolded it to make it look good anyway you were a litttle creative and some straight line's stood on topic but you added alout of things that weren't neccacary o overall6.7/10............just keep elavating

^LOL!!! People who know what the fuck they're talking about please?

Damn really good piece, a lot of emotion in this piece obviously there needed to be because of the concept. The story was told really well very deep you grasped a real good understanding of the issue dont know if youve read something that influenced this or saw something that influenced this but i know you took your time with this piece and it shows. Your vocab was perfect it wasnt over the top, it matched well with the imagery. You was describing a person thoughts and feelings anger regreat etc that a person with aids must go through. You covered most aspects of the victim it was real impressive. You had a lot of multies in this piece too which made the piece even more comlpex. Structure was fine but i dont care about peoples structure i think if you penned maybe a back story to this piece maybe another verse of the same length this would be a good audio.
I couldnt really hate on this piece, good fucking job.
Return the feed on my new OM:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=241117

This was a nice piece. Think you did a good job with the topic. Portrayed the person`s thoughts nicely. Emotion was in it. Felt real. Nah mean. Read easy. But I always tell you that. So this the last time I`m sayin` it in a reply lol.

Quote:

---

now u're pitiful.....every night as you lie in your sheets
weeping, crying, praying...then wake up with a sigh of relief
not dying atleast..not today, taking out your supply of weed
feeling alive and free....inhale, relax eyes, & release

---

Liked them 4 a lot. There were other parts with more meanin` for the piece. But that stood out like a "how else can I deal with it" typa thing. Nice. Keep doin` ur thing.

men there gonna die poeple tonigh,not on tha steerth but on this site,its never to bright,fuck everything I gonaa fight to the end,tha click I have is to dope,they gonna kill everything and have all youre bones allready broke,you never gonna diss me,and when there is another violent in my streeth its we,watch out step afterwards,I am tha king and they are my guards,not that I need them,but you don't know and it can be that a little motherfucking comes to me and his gun says BAM BAM BAM.damn never that something like that hapend,never that this is tha last message I send,you don't know if you think that,but that thinking like that is very wack,yo man tha master is back,gonna diss everywhone here, or I kill you I don't care,tha hospital you're final station,after vist me you're gone.

Big flow

This was A nice Piece nice concept
i could actuaaly feel the emotions
i' glad i dont have aid
but nice word play good structure
keep writing

wow nique. I guess people really didn't take this shit to heart, but foreal yo..you portrayed this so nice. Metaphors all over the place, vivid imagery, a nearly perfect flow and delivery. This piece was not only nice, it was amazingly written. not that the concept is so original but the way you relate to a couple of different things was really dope. the whole piece was quotable.. I dont know I felt this was worthy of HOF or maybe even legends.

like at the begining, the flow kinda through me off but through out the flow was tight, the subject was hot as weel, you used very nice vocab for the peace and i loved how you wrote it, the images and all. i imagined the whole thing through out while i read, structure was organized out as well, though some lines seemed kinda stretched in a way but it came out to a perfect piece. it stayed on topic and you spoke serious shit nad thatz hot
keep up the good work

rise.