Rumors

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...40#post3418540
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...63#post3418563


Back to form for Mac
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Fragmented thoughts seep wistfully from cracked lips
Ephemeral longings take the shape of lost bliss
Face to face, singed by her precise and feathered grace
All my mistakes, apparent by the lines on her face
Melting wristwatches match the shattered days
Ankle-deep in the grave where missing love lays

Nubile Eve, dreams of love dissipated my schemes
Gone under the dew…
Themes of kissing footsteps, growing up like fiends
Angelic halo looped finger, untimely hope bringer
Urban hymn singer, with harsh words that sting her

Similarly, the elements had their presence felt barely
God always cheated when he dealt, but for once he played fairly
Nary a spirit shrouded my glimpse
Hardly an gore in my nails to make me wince
The manifestation of soul molestation shredded me once
Then she left, swarming it came back, haven’t ridded it since

Why did the razor swoon and sway along the vein
Fertilizing the earth with blood, gouging me with pain
Gave her my glory, while the shackles tore me
Closed the tattered book, and absorbed a glossy story
Even instilled birth in her, thought she’d bear it for me
And now that Tartarus harbors your soul
I echo a thousand opaque sorries.

Those days of new love, until a heathen’s fate ruined her
‘n manifestations of my seed stopped moving inside her
And I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that god’s got a sick sense of humour
Ending the train of rebirth, poor life becoming again
Love seeping from my eyes, and then…
When I crumble like roses in whips of winds passing
I expect to get the doors shut, and to see Him laughing.
__________________

the imagery in this piece was very vivid and enjoyful,the emotiuon was also strong in this all though a layed concept, the structure was great, and the vocab was above average, and a nice rhyme scheme was okayy iguess word nice to see you writting again mac

upp

Had to sign on just so I can feed on this.

The imagery was very intriquing. I like the emotion you sought forth into this piece, although, i would of went into more detail. Your structure was appealing and kept me intrested, not to mention, it kept the flow pretty smooth. Your vocab was decent, not bad, not good, but average, and a good rhyme scheme. Your syllables, seemed a little off, maybe by 2/3's but nonetheless, it was a nice piece. Glad to see you back to writing your OM"s again.

pz

i liked you're use of intricate vocab in this peice... was not overdone but still was done well i really like this peice... and its whats happening to me so i can really relate to this... the imagery was disturbing yet awesome... nothing amazing here but definaltly a dope drop... keep it up man you've always had skill... but it seems like you're stepping up your game again... nice work here mac keep at er,.

Upppp

this was real good....................good creavity good structure and good wording you had no played lines and I like this cause I could relate to this the same thing is going on between me and my gurl......fuckin rumors ne-way I really liked this keep it up

lmao.

You don't even get the piece. Oh well, each person has their own interpretation I guess.

I understand it..................but I'm using this in another situation example...rumors are seprating me and my girl slowly

upppping