Rip #23

Friend of mine from school was murdered everyone called him sunshine. He was a great baseball player and he'll never be forgotten

Sunshine is gone //
everybodys gone miss em//
even the people that dissed him//
and all the girls that have kissed him//
but he'll always be here//
and we'll always be with him//
even tho things lookin real grim//
the sunshine wont ever dim//

Grant was strong//
but now to god he belongs//
all i see around me is sorrow//
ill see the same thing tommorow//
theres only more that can follow//
and just like everyone else//
ima feel the same way tommorow//

Grant ima see you again one day//
so we can continue to play our game//
down here things wont ever be the same//

Rip Grant we will miss you forever 23

Great piece. There is nothing more honest than a memorial writing of a friend. You showed that your true heart poured out while keeping composure in your flow and rhythm. I feel for you man, everyone experiences these tragic mishaps and writing just helps you cope with it. Rating 8/10
Good Luck and God Bless

Please critique my open mics as well
The Night Of Ecstasy
Scales Of A Sermon

this was dope

Was decent. Kinda deep, I feel it would be much deeper if u used better vocab as the vocab was kinda blah. But it was pretty good. Keep it up, and next time, dont put /.

a bit weak wiv same rhymths througout ya verse. 4/10

^WTF R U ON BOUT

this ws a gd piece
deep
flowed alrite
rhymin ws gd
gd structure
gd topic to write to
7/10