Like No Tomorrow

Like No Tomorrow

http://artscene.textfiles.com/mirror...ll%20alone.png

Louder notes ascended. Yet, even then they rest,
Each eye was wake, and every heaving breath is a nuisance to my chest
Was panting for revenge, I was approached with just a bunch of sticks,
The awful hour, long hoped for it come long forefixed
Sacred to vengeance, to the thirst; quench of blood,
And bitter retribution. Slowly rolled through the wrinkles of the mud
The moments, whilst with anxious minds, faces coated with paint,
Waited the voice that loosed them from physical restraint
And turned them on their tyrants: could not be more prompt,
The nitrous grain, that, at the touch of fire, pride would be stomped
Bursts in resistless flame: Thoug hthe voice of God would oppress,
Is heard; but through each deep thought and dark recess--
A hollow murmer rises, that shakes trees and upbraids birds,
The long delay took its toll, yet the voice is heard!
Whilst in each agitated breast, clouds form, it starts to rain,
Dismay, and doubt, and desparation will not reign
Or feels the fiery torture.—"Rise, revenge,
"Revenge your wrongs," the expected voice exclaims, now avenge.
.
.
And meets a ready answer, from the tongues of hell,
Of countless numbers, from each gloomy cell, but who shall tell
The wild commotion; what the frantic rage pours,
Of savage fury, when, with nothing but a joint accord
They burst the opposing gratings, and poured forth,
Impetuous as the flood that breaks its mound becomes warlords
What's thought unarmed!—upon the unsparing steel,
They rushed regardless; and the expected wound wasn't real
Deep, but not always deadly, it roused their minds,
To fiercer desparation: thronging close, became the signs
Fearless, and firm, they joined the unequal war cries,
And when the fatal weapon pierced their side
They struggled to retain it, and after death came hell,
Disarmed the hand that conquered.—The rapidly fell
But if not not unrevenged, for fastening close,
Upon the foe some gained the vessel's side became a ghost
And rushed together to a watery death, we sing our songs,
Whilst from the yawning hold, emerging throngs.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=264120
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=263985

Enjoy everybody, I want to see respectable feed.

Dope Peace Nos In The beggining i liked that you used a couple of multies and you kept flow throughout the whole piece flow never fell of it was good storyline was great and your poem went along well with the picture your vocab was dope and structure was dope ass well i liked this piece alot expect a nomination

this is art...
A very awesome piece.
You structure, rhyme scheme, and imagery were all amazing. You have a very styalistic way of writing that gives a cetain wit and intelligenec. the imagery you show is amazing and ive gotta say that kind puts an emotion in your head. I saw it all very beautifully in my head.
I feel that you've been in this situation before which makes it more dark. Good stuff man. Id love a collab

Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. Bump.

Nos now that is good shit.I was feeling the emotion and you were very creative.There was some great vocab in there too.You kept me glued to it from start to end.Excelent piece and keep it up.

Thanks.

When I first looked at the picture, I thought it would be about The Grudge. This was a nice piece, some repeated images worked. In the first there was mentions of fire, and in the second was words tied to water. I take it as slaves, or oppressed people attempting to take over those that rule. The lines weren't too long, and the description was solid.

Thanks Carl, I appreciate the feed like whoa.

wow this just moved me very dope piece that picture that went along with it really helped it work out also very deep emotion and imagrey you put into this piece i see wow very good rhyme scheme the way it flowed was good and on point deep heard messege HOF material this month for sure good to see you stepping up the game always likeing that hit mine up if you would also

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=264509

thanks stay up

Thanks Tim, Pz.

I'm being slept on, what cunt fucks.

Nice.I barely see anyone use a alot of multies with more than 2 syllables alot here now.Your flow was amzing becuz of the fact you use a good choice of vocab with the complexity of it,and the storyline was amzing as well the way you started it off was alreayd emotional.Towards the middle and the end i felt more of the emotion and it got deeper.I never expected it to end that way,or for it even in the middle to get that way.Also these lines are what got me alot more interested in reading it a little bit more:

And meets a ready answer, from the tongues of hell,
Of countless numbers, from each gloomy cell, but who shall tell
The wild commotion; what the frantic rage pours,
Of savage fury, when, with nothing but a joint accord
They burst the opposing gratings, and poured forth,
Impetuous as the flood that breaks its mound becomes warlords
&
But if not not unrevenged, for fastening close,
Upon the foe some gained the vessel's side became a ghost
And rushed together to a watery death, we sing our songs,
Whilst from the yawning hold, emerging throngs.
& this part only from the begining.
Sacred to vengeance, to the thirst; quench of blood,
And bitter retribution. Slowly rolled through the wrinkles of the mud
The moments, whilst with anxious minds, faces coated with paint,
Waited the voice that loosed them from physical restraint
And turned them on their tyrants: could not be more prompt,
The nitrous grain, that, at the touch of fire, pride would be stomped


Also i liked the rhyme scheme you used.It was amzing,and the style you have is something you should stick to because it's something i know people'll like alot,and will be interested in alot.Hope to see more man.


Pz.

Thanks.

Up.