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Twisted . .
Let me take you on a tour of my life, rhyme by rhyme
Show how I come up with one liners...
...that my girl sniffs all the time...
And let the pen bleed, the evidence thats left on the page
Raise the stakes on my wager higher, with each war i wage
Yet know my life is far from perfect, im coming to my own
the true me lies beneath the surface, its whereabouts unknown
And fuck my old friends, I called for help and nobody was there
Yet they told me that wed stick together like the gel in my hair
And my ex was a bitch but thats another problem of sorts
she said she couldn't live without me, saves pictures on life support
Whatever though, because I inject my rhymes with a poison
And my twisted life tilts once more, the new pinball is chosen
So you can sit there and laugh, as I look through this bottle of glass
Half empty, or half full, fuck it im to drunk to give a rats ass
But if there was a rat with an ass I wonder how i can give it
*sniff* *pause*
was that really coke, or was it salt, damn I knew i should lick it
But im twisted, its unimaginable another person livin it worse..
Hell ima trailblaze, it could be worse, but im going through it first
*pause*
That made no sense, so let me just roll up another blunt..
Am I coherent enough ? No, im tripping balls but i dont take it like a cunt
*pause*
that aint make sense either, so let me face death through the speakers
I just bit big pun, sue me, before i take another sip of this ether
and it all becomes super ugly to my mind, i need one mic to rhyme
Friend or Foe, I'll never know, the streets is watching, im running out of time
*pause*
I forgot what i was gonna say, oh well fuck it..
....
...and the rapper breathed his last...
And He left us this recording,which he recorded and wrote...
....as he overdosed on crushed up glass...
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17 views no replies.. i love this site
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yo that was str8 dawg, it started out a lil weak but you definetly picked it up.
So you can sit there and laugh, as I look through this bottle of glass
Half empty, or half full, fuck it im to drunk to give a rats ass
But if there was a rat with an ass I wonder how i can give it
*sniff* *pause*
was that really coke, or was it salt, damn I knew i should lick it
best four right there.
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This was pretty Good...I liked your use a vocab and lines, it set an image in my haed as i was reading it. I pictured a guy sittin in his house at a table with all this in front of him and him talkin to himeslef. You set a very good imagery detail. Like Casion said, It was week in the beginning, but you did pic it up. You did a good job.
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From top to bottom, this was hot. Your rhyme scheme was on point, i never got stuck once. The content was entertaining, i loved the imagery and voice u told this from, heavy in metaphore, you were able to shift outside of the norm and put your self in this position, you were very detailed in doing so. The description was flawless, especially that light reflecting off your shoulder blade bit. Interesting piece bro.
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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=3832556
racism^
rtf and hit it up
this was real nice, you told a great story and the end was reallly creative/un cliched/unsuspecting/new,,, great twists vocabulary was pretty good, multies were there, sorta, not very many, but enough to work, structure was dope, and thw sstoryline worked for the most part, good job, and hit up my piece racism
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ya started a little weak, but as the track went on ya picked it up even though ya had some pretty basic rhyming, but the overall track made up for the rest. nice peice man, liked it...
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that was real good
the only problem i had wit it was that it was kinda hard to read but it was dope tho
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niice shiit .. gud lines u had there vocab... overall i'd giv it 9/10
sory 4 not givin propa feed.. i wil do l8r k... i enjoyed readin it stil...
keep dat fire kumin....
