Summer Of '89

Fingers interlocked in collaboration racing down a beaten bank,
Where the grass nervously flattened and the river grazed the sea,
With the laughter of your carefree heart reaching far beyond the driftwood planks,
And dancing with inhalation, as it came to rest in me.

The drowsy swarm of summer, the two of us layed in a poppy field,
With the passion of the petals, that vibrant red, our love revealed,
Plateau of secret devotion, emotion shown as layers were peeled,
Our love exists below that opium mist, where we fumbled half-concealed,
And down to the river embankment, on which the daisies grew,
You fashioned me a necklace, of a pale pure and yellow hue,
And the dew from my neck you wiped away as the morning sun drew close,
And held me tightly, tasting my love for you and dribbling your prose.
Allowed your fingertips to creep beneath the folded creases in my clothes,
And brush the longing from my body, as you forced your love to grow.
Often we'd dance along the woodland path and hide between the trees,
Tip-toe like a silent fox, careful not to tread on fallen leaves,
Swallowing our shallow breath in a harmless effort to decieve,
A game we used to play, when we were young, at seventeen.
Soon our naive perspective fainted with the summers reign,
And it no longer became our custom, to carry on these childish games,
We lost touch, you moved away, on the first rise of winter dawn,
And took all the innocence I had when summertime was gone.

Back to the beaten hillside, where the daisies wilt and die,
As if our selflessness was all they had to keep themselves alive,
It's here my heart cries out for you, it's here that I reside,
Praying for the return, that summer of 1989.

Sup, Influx. I randomly came across this, just this second. & I'm really glad I did.
The piece was almost flawless with its mechanics. Your vivid description of everything around you was dope. I really didn't expect to be surprised at how well written this was, as I come into OM all the time trying to spot new talent. Content was cool, and unless its just something you've created, there was a nice emotive feel to it. Props.. It felt like a vent, but came out to a really nice piece. Try out for Po'Ethics. Post this link, and I'll recommend you.

Brix.

Thanks Brixton, really appriciate the feed, I'm not looking to tryout anywhere just yet but Po'Ethics is definately around the top of my list, I'll drop a tryout when I've impoved a little and have a few more pieces under my belt :)

Great drop..
From 1st glance of the topic and the title i doubted wether you would be able to bring life and feeling that would impress me since ive seen this topic a few times before, but you proved me wrong and wrote well to it... your descriptions and imagery made this piece a pleasure to read, and i will be looking for more from you

Id be greatfull for your opinion on my piece...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=270539

thanks alot, yeah I will check that piece out for you :)

anyway i can squeeze some more replies? :)

Imtrying to work out if this is true? Lol, but I also worked out you were still a baby in '89, so I think its not.

This was an impressive piece, the italics stanza's stood out the most for me, the first was really well written I thought. The overall flow of this was very nice, reading it to myself it pretty much went all the way without hesitations, the usual excellent use of words and vocabulary, (Still don't know how you know all these words? lol,) And some pretty sweet imagery.

A stellar drop, well done, fathead. :)

hey, my head isn't that fat :( lol