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Time Is Like The Wind
Time, rushing around us like flowing wind on a spring day
The snow is melting like the time, its dripping away
far from here wars are continuing, whats the point?
when back here is even worse,a 6 year olds rolling a joint
you see, have you ever looked at whats going on right here?
i didnt think you wanted to, im sorry you might shed a tear
too close to your heart, you focus on other peoples demise
for maybe if you dont pay attention to it it'll jus be a bunch of lies
maybe your father wasnt a crook, he didnt sell crack all day
if you fail to listen to the truth your pain might jus go away
"who likes the truth anyway" you might say, but listen
it'll be easier to get on with life, i can see your eyes glisten
i know you wanna get through all this pain and tragedy of no family
theres no way you can live on without no help from me
i guess im jus tryna say jus let me help you.
i stop talking, and i realise.
its myself looking back in the mirror subdued.
People there are times where you have to learn to help yourself.
for you can only trust yourself, the real truth is inside oneself
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post3928692
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...32#post3928732
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This is something good to reflect on. The flow was a little off in a few areas, such as the end of lines 8 and 12. The direction of the piece is solid enough for a foot in the door, although you may want to set a firmer foundation of time with relations to problems with society. Although it does have good imagery to paint a picture of what you're talkin about in your mind.
Overall, a good piece. Cheers.
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i liked the piece, it was def a diff look @ society...pretty good i'd say 4 being 17 yrs old tho
ur flo was on point 4 most of it but those lines 8 and 12 got 2 ya like he said^^
keep postin and work on dat flo and u'll b aiight...
chk my OM and return the fav plz...
"Letter From A Ryder"
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=270190
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thanks for feed...
uppin .. i will hit up your piece mariposa
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dog that shit was deep i think it should have been named something else but the name dont matter just the lyrics and those were crunk it had alt of true in it that shit really be happining in the world today i liked the flow i give it a 9/10
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tight spit cuz.......................keep it up...................................change choice of words.......p-e-a-c-e