|| - A Kiss From The Heart - ||

A Kiss From The Heart


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“The sweetest of all sounds is that of the voice of the woman we love”


Latley I've asked, Whats with the hatred? lady romance
Was it cuz I was mistaken you never gave me a chance?
I hated the fact you made me this sad, inflating the past
Or maybe I'm just going crazy and just making this bad
I was greatly attached. Beauty? no makeup could match
Thought you were my baby & bash, my making the band
My Stacy and Dash, The daisy that planted soul in my life
You sprouted soil and light from a planet alone in the sky
If I had the chance I'd be with you on the phone every nite
Tellin you jokes as you cried hopin that'll open your eyes
Holdin you tight, through the cold till your emotions are fine
Give you a potion everytime I know you're lonley inside
Slowly throw a rose on the side, and ask how you feel?
So passionate romantically I'd ask if those scabs are for real
If so heres a patch of skin: In time the damage will heal
For you I'd manage to steal one of grandmothers quilts
Laugh at the bills. Hungry? I'd take you to Hamburger Hill
Blatter not filled? order another round of lavender meals
Anything to have you fulfilled, theres no end to my love
Gimme a minute to shrug: arms open. I'll give you a hug
Remember I liked you more then a friend? So you blushed
We were sittin at lunch, afterwards no kiss on the bus
But I pretended there was while reminencin the touch
All I wish is for one, just so I could capture the passion
Always stunning dazzled in fabrics: pampered with baggage
But I'd show you to the world no matter your fashion
Give you a master size palace on the sand in the Hamptons
With land and a mansion, thats only a fraction of half it
It'll never manage to happen, but i'll try to just spend more
Any colored diamond you wish for: lime or a dim orange
Even die for you sins or,..... just fight against ten wars
You mean everything to me your my wife and my mentor
But after awhile our friendship got harsh, tempers had sparked
Didnt speak for days at a time just bickered when talked
Deep inside blistered and scar'd all the tension hit hard
Really didn't pay you attention, wish I did from the start
Now I miss that you're gone, you were my glistening star
Only way I can show how I feel is a kiss from the heart


“Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back”
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wow, that was dope, really nice multies, good story-telling, flowed the whole way through, i cant find anything to really critisize, this was very nice

Thanks alot fam, Uppin.

this was pretty good. it had multi's emotion an some imagery. i liked the way you had your openner lines. it just let you know right from the start what it was gonna be about. to me it felt like you put more time in the middle of this piece cause it just went together better to me. but you did ya thang an i ain't mad at ya for that. but could you return the favor an check out my om. here's the link........
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287285

pretty cool, nice flow! .... alotta deep cool concepts i enjoy'd! .... nice discription of the way you were feeling .... N!ce drop


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Uppin.

Stop sleeping.

Uppin

I didn't really like this at all. The way it started out it had potential to become something very beautiful, but then you started twisting in battle like wordplay in shit using similies for descriptions which I haaaaaaaaaaaaaate. Lol I can't fucking stand similies, they completely kill the fluency of the content and usually end up breaking into completely seperate directions as the original content and in the end it just makes a mess in my opinion. Your vocab was kind of bland as well, not even cuz I dont think you have but I think because you were trying so hard to get as much of your 2 syllabol multie sequance as you could, which, you sacravised content for in the end. Like this:

"I hated the fact you made me this sad, inflating the past
Or maybe I'm just going crazy and just making this bad"

I mean, you said "bad"... When I hit that it just made it feel like a was reading an 11 year olds work you know? I dunno, seems like alot of work went into this but nothing aside from the original concept and storyline seemed to impress me at all. Sorry man, keep writing and upping your work.

I'd apreciate it if you could return the favor:
"L.A. Reed Bought my Soul"
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287417

This wasn't bad at all. Maybe a little soppy, but isn't there shit loads of this on Rb? I think you portrayed "love" in a good way. You chose to speak of the majority of good in a relationship, and kept the bad to a minority at the end. I thought your wording could have been a holw lot better if you didn't concentrate on your rhymes so much. Mono-syllabic rhymes aren't all that bad, but you need to keep them fresh. Which you didn't do that often. What I can say is that you have created your own style, and I like it. Your internals work, and keep your piece flowing, although they aren't always grammatically correct, lol. But shit doesn't matter.. Your last line was dope to me, and true. Overall, it was a nice piece. Easy read, and kept me interested. Props, Ex.
Check out my latest piece in my sig. 10,000 tales.

-Brix.