Make it Ryte

VERSE1
this is a story about a boy who wanted fame
all he wished is for people to recognise his name
he didnt know that having all of these luxuries
will break him down and make him crazy just like this
because this whole world a one big fucked up system
people havent got no control so theres no one to blame
but everything you do is controlled by the goverment
even my life aint full its never a hundred percent
but this boy who thought that he could make some rhyme
was working real hard so someone will get him signed
didnt need no physical work because he can use his mind
and all his hustling, gun smoking past just left behind
even tho some things are so deep they leave a mental scar
that lasts your whole life it dont matter who you are
one thing he didnt realise is that he was with the wrong crew
deep motherfuckers who kill people for saying thank you
CHORUS
its a shame that we kill each other
all starting from dissing your own mother
paying people to do the job u dont wanna do
stop it homies or money will kill you too
its a shame that we kill each other
all starting from dissing your own mother
paying people to do the job u dont wanna do
stop it homies or money will kill you too
VERSE2
the boy went through alot of shit just to get in
killing an innocent woman and peeling off her skin
just after raping her and breaking all of her ribs
thats how much it cost to get his brand new crib
him and three more of his boys followed her to an alley
then jumped her and gave her that harsh finalee
he put a bullet straight into her bleeding head
not knowing it was his homies mother covered in red
now how the fuck things like that be forgotten about
his heart got real cold that he is now left without
he gave himself to devil all just for the fame
so now his soul will burn forever in the hells flame
because once he did that there is no way to get out
no matter if he tryes to disagree, scream or shout
he is stuck its just his body that is still alive
his afterlife future is clear just waiting to him to arrive
CHORUS
its a shame that we kill each other
all starting from dissing your own mother
paying people to do the job u dont wanna do
stop it homies or money will kill you too
its a shame that we kill each other
all starting from dissing your own mother
paying people to do the job u dont wanna do
stop it homies or money will kill you too
VERSE3
most people who are famous and got lots of money
will end up just like that boy, their future aint sunny
dont take it as and offence or not even a diss
i only want all of the people to realise this
this life is nothing compared to your afterlife
its just a one huge test of your soul and mind
there is no need to kill people in a stress
you better chill and spread the good word then be blessed
and live forever enjoying heaven and flying in the sky
so if someone tells you to kill jus say no way in reply
im trying to make it big but not to get sucked in
im gonna do my best not to let that begin
if someone wants to shoot me then take the shot
im not gonna run i will stay glued to my spot
and if you dare to take my life infront of your squad
i will die a human not a killer and live forever near God
CHORUS
its a shame that we kill each other
all starting from dissing your own mother
paying people to do the job u dont wanna do
stop it homies or money will kill you too
its a shame that we kill each other
all starting from dissing your own mother
paying people to do the job u dont wanna do
stop it homies or money will kill you too

You need links.

Well, it's good to see someone start. Fight off, it seemed too simple. Throw in multis and a better vocab. Make the scheme more interesting. No more one sylable rhymes. All in all not bad for a beginner.

Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.


I HAVE TO HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
READ THE RULES.
CLOSED.

Reason: No Links.

-Brix.