Opposite Worlds

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=...ippy-peace.jpg http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=...xas-George.gif

I squint into the sunlight,
while a smile breaks upon my face
The shine of grace, beats on me
as my heart quickens it’s pace
I seat myself, on the dampened grass
And laugh, at my amazing life
As high as a kite, my heart jumps for joy
Never once, have I experienced strife
My eyes water, every thing else is irrelevant
like an elephant, I will never forget this moment

I lie on this barren sidewalk
I talk, to myself now and again
The pain, shoots through my vain
Heroin and cocaine, are my comforters
90 kilometres, from the restricted village
Like an oil spillage, I’m blamed for polluting
The brains, of children, with my games
I just wanted some fun, not a local uproar
My poor, mother was left wondering why
I, made her cry….I wish I was with her

I walk hand in hand, with mother nature
Not a single hater, among this crowd
So loud, yet so peaceful and sedated
Painted upon faces, are smiles
For miles, we stroll in the sunlight
And some might, say we’re rebels
With pebbles, around our necks and wrists
Kissed by beauty, we embrace the taste
Of summer, with our arms open wide
Tonight, we will dine, with natural beauty

Oh what I would give, to see her again
It’s been ten, long years
My tears, form a puddle, mixed with mud
My blood, has stained my clothes, and my soul
The hole, in my heart weeps in vain
The pain, I gain, from this hell on earth
This turf, has crumbled into my shoe
And the dirt in my face, hides the pink
I take a drink, then lie on the street
If I die in my sleep, I will be joyous

That night, the hippy over dosed on drugs and died
They left him for dead, and ran away

The next day, the truth about the outcast came out
He has been proven innocent, and is now a millionaire

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...1&page=1&pp=15

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...17#post4406417

feed please

damm nice piece i really liked this drop it was real dope
this had some really good flow that wasent off at all
tha wordplay was really nice it all fit in good lol
ur vocab was pretty dam good u had some nice choice of words
Strutre was ok u couldve made some lines longerand thru in a good font it wouldve made it look nicer lol
some lines were meh kinda off but thats alright
ur topic was really good i was feelin tha topic it was soo good and i liked tha way u kept on topic thru tha whole peice
could u plz hit up tha oms in my sig
and keep up tha dope ness

weird rhyme scheme but it was felt. more of a poetry piece to me. still a slick piece.

Oh what I would give, to see her again
It’s been ten, long years
My tears, form a puddle, mixed with mud
My blood, has stained my clothes, and my soul
The hole, in my heart weeps in vain
The pain, I gain, from this hell on earth
This turf, has crumbled into my shoe
And the dirt in my face, hides the pink
I take a drink, then lie on the street
If I die in my sleep, I will be joyous

^ that whole stanza was tight. good imagery throughout. keep dropping dood.

thanks for the feed people

uppin

upp

please don't sleep on this

yes, should not be slept on at all. i liked this, lots of qoutables indeed. some kids might look at this and say "poetic scripture" type.. but i what i most enjoyed about this peice was the uniqe rhyme scheme. yes, a poetic type.. but you may post it wherever the fuck you want. deep concepts here, some kids might not get it.. some might. one thing tho, work on using a bigger vocabulary, your 15.. im sure u can talk more maturely than a 7th grader. all in all, good peice. keep it up.

thanks for the feed

uppin

I lie on this barren sidewalk
I talk, to myself now and again
The pain, shoots through my vain
Heroin and cocaine, are my comforters
90 kilometres, from the restricted village
Like an oil spillage, I’m blamed for polluting
The brains, of children, with my games
I just wanted some fun, not a local uproar
My poor, mother was left wondering why
I, made her cry….I wish I was with her
Dope Imagery, Favorite stanza!

All in all this was a pretty good piece man but I agree with the other dude, it felt more like poetry to me. You're vocab was on point all the way through, You really know how to paint pictures with you're words. The topic was unique and well dipicted al though I think you could have maybe some more emotion. It was there but I think you could have connected with the charecters more. Structure was real good and flow was on point. Good drop

thanks dude,post a link if you want me to return the favour