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A Bed Of Violins.
A Bed Of Violins
One light, and one room..
no goon in the corner holding up the sound boom.
Nothing near a cartoon, & shit, this ain't a movie coming out soon.
This is my life fool.. now watch spectators entail it to be cruel,
cuz after you've hit the truth, their's fuck all that I can do.
.
Musta read a novel named "A Boy Called "It"?
cuz it fits - every notion I motion, with platinum perspectives
& detectives would never detect or erect the cruelty that injects
a blood so tainted in me, my type's filed below defects.
Its just a pre-tense, that Mr & Mrs Stevence little boy died at birth
yet he was raised in the dirt, a fable of Earth left to convert
a shame full of hurt into an anger that's best left in a curse.
Nothing knows what stepped in that hurse, only my "beloved" parents
my carers, who chose to be my very own pall barers.
But "you don't get it", right? Why would they lock me up in the night?
& leave me to become this hungry for love parasite?
.. Your guess is as good as mine.
.
At two timely intervals, my parents "fine principles" sit and stare
they tear up slices of bread on the stairs - with water - and leave'em there.
Like they ever care.. its just nourishment to keep this dead soul awake
Not knowing an evil home-pave, if they only saw where this hole lay..
they would pull me from this nightmare, where bile decorates..
my surroundings, and the poundings of endless rythm my heart makes-
carries shards of snow flakes from the frozen soul I chose to chase.
I'll never reach that race, and taste the outside worlds sympathy,
cuz the pain I endouvered, could write a "feel sorry" symphony.
The real thoughts envigour me, as I beg for the higher things..
..casted away on a bed of violins. Away from constant violence
and neglect, finally to gain a respect from piers and friends-
what a beautiful thought..
.. but I still fear the immense.
I wish my thoughts had a tense.. cuz while I preach with tears
You're still reading. . . . yet I'm still lying here.
I wouldn't say I was dying here, but I'm being sincere..
when I say I'm trying here.
.
& just to be clear, for when you buy the book..
It will hesistantly title, "A Boy Who Was Never Touched".
No age, No Name..
-Brixton.
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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=300297
damn brix i love the multies hommie... the idea of the peice itself was nice.. you layed it out very well.. i really dug your rhyme scheme.. the lenth was good, cuz at first if it was to long i know i wouldn't have read it.. but it was perfect.. vocab was good, u chose your words wisely n i like the use of multi sylabul rhyming.. most writer's i see on the board have a hard time finding words that are rhymed like that but also refer to the topic of the peice.. overall nice job brix.. keep writing.. pz
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:( I was dissapointed.
The title was so dope, I wish I thought of it and used it first because as soon as I saw it my mind went crazy. I was really expecting a very elegant, emotional piece, but this was just something completely different. It wasn't bad, but when you work up expectations for something and it doesn't quite go where you wanted it to, it's just not as enjoyable. So, cool piece, just wasn't what I was looking for.
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Damn you, I got loast int he title too, I thought this would be something completly different. Then again, that is kind of cool how you completly fooled me based on the title, creative to boot. Flow was the first thing I picked up in this, done nicely. After I got over my orginal notions of what this would be, I was actual suprised this still pulled me in. This seemed more of verse written for audio, very smooth and flowed very well. You do a good job with these kinds of writes, very original as your style is. Always a pleasure dude.
Stay writting...
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I agree with the two above me. You completely lost me with the title. It almost doesn't fit at all with the content of your writing. Your imagery always seems to draw me in and overshadow your ability to rhyme and entertain me with multisyllabic internals. I really liked the emotion you brought into this piece describing the life of a boy who was never really 'loved' persay by his parents. This was good read. Glad to see you participating in the RSTL also. Stay for awhile. Peace.
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I couldn't completely grasp this piece. Your flow and everything was on point, but my slow brain just couldn't grasp the piece, as a whole. I'll have to come back and read again. I'm not feeling too good.
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oh shit this things tight. Good flow, multies, vocabulary,everything.
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