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Losing My Love
hip hop is a culture, there will never be on like it
but im losin my love for hip and as hard as i try i cant fight it
the hatred is eating at my brain and it feels like death
and everytime i hear a rap song, it kills my breath
the very thing im doing is the same thing causing me pain
i feel leeches on my skin, hip hop wont be the same
its indecent, because the same thing im preachin is flesh eating
until its down to marrow and all i have is what im believein
as much as i think its just a faze it continues to linger in me
until it becomes so deep that im hip hop and noone can defend me
maybe what everyone is saying is right, hip hop is satanic
but i feel animosity towards rappers why do i feel this way god dammit
and believe me i try to sit and reevalueate my feelings
but i realize hip hop is the reason for so many killings
to be or not to be against hip hop, and i choose to be
i hope this feeling does last because thisisnt even the half
hip hop is dead like Nas said, anything dope was dropped in the past
it seems as if this other half of me is out and with my soul its clashin
because rap makes my blood sizzle, and i hate it with a passion
dont get me wrong ill listen to some rap music but its only if im bored
hip hop used to be pure, now its diseased and it cant be cured
hit with a plaque were everything that came out this year was explicit
rap is no longer a art, its a competition for those who are materilistic
as much as i hate to say this but hip hop is no longer the hype
so tuck hip hop in for bed and give it your final kiss goodnight
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first off lemme say this is my personal opinion. i will always love hip hop but its gettin 2 gimicky now. it used 2 b all about who could rock the show n lyrical content. but now its all about beats n when u read the lyrics all u reading is gibberish. n im tired of so i remember Bounce sayin get creative so i did. Thanks Bounce for inspiring me to write my dopest OM yet u getta :2thumb:
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Dopeness.
very DOPE...ima have to sign you to Death Row Records home boy :D
chea....
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meh pretty good drop u had some overall good lines nice flow with multies but try to make it more complex and work on your vocab and strutre
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naw man Suge Knight got a bullet proof vest, he aint gon be die'n again...but i need to kill Biggie...he keeps on eating my Double Whooper an frechfries ya feel...so yo be down w/ Thug Life so we can puncture his obese ass...my nigga u DOWN!
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No im not down stop freepostin
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upping for sum more feedback
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I understand the general direction and concept you went with here, but you didn't pull it off well. Your lines were for the most part bare and the end of line scheme you ran with was pretty dry, not to mention cookie cutter. All that reading just to get to a it/it breath/death rhyme at the end of the line. That just doesn't cut it when it comes to writting lyrics now days. I would have rather seen you use metaphors to describe your issues with hip hop, instead of long lines that basically didn't have any impact on the reader. You can say more with the use of metaphors in less lines, plus that ads some depth and complexity to the work. Emotion was weak, as was the imagery, you didn;t paint any pictures in your readers mind. Overall, you need to work on all components and work out a fresh scheme in your OM's. Right now, there isnt much for me to say other than you need to polish up your writting.
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ok well ima go bakc to the drawing board,
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"Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.
I HAVE TO BE HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
READ THE RULES.
CLOSED.
Reason: Shit Feedback.
-Brix."