Topical Battle
300 2 Vote
House Rules
20-40 lines
check a.s.a.p.
Due Monday @ 11:59
G/L
Topics
Infertile Land
The Blackest Thoughts
My Buddy
Anamilistic Characteristic's
Man Made
Printable View
Topical Battle
300 2 Vote
House Rules
20-40 lines
check a.s.a.p.
Due Monday @ 11:59
G/L
Topics
Infertile Land
The Blackest Thoughts
My Buddy
Anamilistic Characteristic's
Man Made
Check
My Buddy
"Don't be the best in town just be the best until the best came around"-
I was seven years old fashioned with a guitar contraption
with two strings and a piece of wood as it's attachments
figured a lil bit time spared for me developing a keen ear
would get me outta these old rugged clothes and into clean gear
With 9 years passing switched my ears grasping
in which notes lasting picked fingers fashion
sounds linger Aspens as if breezes passing
as fingers grasping my favorite contraption
One year latter those nine years of jarring at this movement
witheld my first authentic guitar the best Harmony Acoustic
19 now and my heart firmly attach to this old blues sound
as each note emanating from the radio makes my heart pound
21 the outlook has changed as my buddy put me up on game
saying you could go to Chicago and run the club's at night "Mayne"
So I began the thought process yes indeed and profound as it may be
I began envisioning Howlin Wolf, Muddy Waters, and me picking caressantly
Now gone the rural landscape of Lousiana seeminly obvious
in it's place was a thriving urban sprawl of a metropolis
There was a distinct stinch I guess it was sortofa city thing
grabbing up my guitar to see what bright lights and big cities brings
By that decades end I began to stake out new creative territory
After learning from those listed above shit got a lot better for me
I Left my Blues in San Francisco, A man Blues was the sequal
I was called the black Elvis sometimes refered to by the people
Now 69 years old and still equiped with guitar and bandanna.....I'd say I'm at the top of my game
I'm trading licks with the likes of John Mayer and Carlos Santana
Internationally acclaimed an inductee to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
I now own my own Club and several plaques
A tribute to George "Buddy" Guy..
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e1...Buddy_Guy_.jpg
Man Made: Man makes a Case!
12th December, 1985
An aspiring lawyer pouncing on every given chance
A glance of a case cause my mental minions to prance
A metaphorical ballad, Law’s a potpourri, a broken dance
Never revived, it’s a mismatched salad, no knight no lance
So a chance to shine comes thin, remember searching the bin
A grovelling kin, “Boy look at him, he’s in a state!”, I’m hearing
the hate Nearing, he’s sneering with desecrate feelings demeaning
Healing to placate my inner man, he’s dormant against a taunt
Fenced haunts, the case is a shimmer of hope, dawns to daunt
Kneeling & peeling my skin, I pick up her scarf, a strange feeling
“Will you take my case?”...an answer put on auto starts repeating
“Yes, Ye...Y...Yes I will, I will”
A rape case, the juries made of 5 women to 2 men, a win-win
I begin, “She’s a victim of the vilest crime!” juries teeth grind
I chime, “Who there amongst you can justify the man’s sin
he knew her address, it was a plan from the very beginning
A slap in the face to all trust & relations”, advanced in haste
“This man attacked the very foundation of a modern society”
Chip in some adjectives, mix adverbs to create reverb cunningly
“I have nothing more to say, this is an open & shut case
He is to blame, to attack the trust that Ms. Jenny had placed
Upon community, he has no remorse, his crimes coarse to the bone
I trust the judicial course”, my voice horse I answer my phone
“Mr. Scott Fappiano, you are convicted
on the charges of Rape, Sodomy, Burglary,
Sexual Abuse and are sentenced to
20-50 years prison service”
I laughed at the case, a mismatch of notes & sketches
I won my first case through lies, mans memory etches
the convicted was the real victim..........
Guilt retches out of me & I flee in an invisible sanctuary
http://www.innocenceproject.org/images/profiles/187.jpg
Yes this was a real life event, a real court case and recently
On October 6, 2006, Scott Fappiano was released a free man,
His charges of rape, sodomy, burglary and sexual abuse were
proved false via DNA testing. An innocent man was locked up
’Cause someone had to go down...& he was the most suitable
Damn.
I have to go with Baron on this one fam.
I was feeling his verse a little more, he edged to me with more feeling and emotion in his verse. Both of the verses is some good pieces and well put together but Mad Men do make a good case in this topical.
good job to both.
links are in the sig.
Well that was fast lol, thanks for the honest one...i'll get the link back in a 2nd.
Good battle here...Forum i would say you are on the top of your game but still havent peaked, this is the best piece i have seen from you i think no doubt, it had creativity and emotion and it flowed really well...some lines were a lil stretched i thought but nothing to major na mean...your imagery was nice and overall good piece...Pakaveli again yet another nice piece on your part, you had good creatvity and emotion...it flowed nicely and there wasnt to much to criticise in this piece so therefore i had to give you the win...But good battle all round well done to both. Hit up the link to my OM in my sig please.
haha my vote too the forum dude his multis caught my eye an better punches all together props
Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz905
There were no punches my friend. :speaker:
Uppity up #2
Paka. your shit was deep as fuck ... Forum you had a dope piece as well but Paka took it to the point that had me reading intently. Nice battle yall. BTW. I actually had someone in my Criminal and cognitive thinking class that did 11 years for Rape, Incest, Child Molestation among other things, the his daughter came out when she was older and said he never did it. 11 fucking years. His wifes sister made her do it when she was like 5, then told her he was in the Army that whole 11 years until she found out.. Crazy fuckign shit. The piece kind of hit home, and i love the way you captured the intense worries of the Lawyer.. dope
Yeah this kinda thing saddens the reader knowing people go down for nothing, thanks for the comments na mean, stay up^.
Up like# 3
Nice, Forum you came better than most of the time but had still some flaws that threw off your verse, your vocab was decent, a bit on the simple side which i dont see from you often, flow was alright but you had some lines worded badly which threw it off, your multies couldve been alot better he had a couple lines with some but then some lines with none at all, your structre was pretty bad and didnt turn me on to the drop that much, sort out the lay out of your peice and give it some more thought on coming creative with the topic. Baron you came nice as usual but not as good as most the time, you had some off lines then some real good lines, you stuck to the topic really good and made it creative. not much to say about your verse but it got the win..v/Baron hit the sig.