Repeatitiveness

Repeatitiveness

Kinda like the deja vu affect
you actually seen it before it happens
Presuming role's bold you know what's next
No preperation needed for the next transiaction

I quarrel to quander................

Seeing yourself doing the same thing
as life angels leave you mangled & tangled
Knowing each step viewing the same dreams
tieing the neuce to induce self's strangle

I quarrel to quander.................

Hearing right voices yet fearing wrong choices
decisions from visions' have left me in an aw!
Blind to advancement's chances there's no rejoicing
Life missions seems like scene's seen yet have never been saw

I quarrel to quander.................

Like a continuious cycle portrayed not to strike you
you seem to hit the same target are results reguardless
feeling alone nobody loves you yet all seeming to like you
no meat on the bone so it become's trash still empty garbage

Consistant is advancement seemingly decreasing
It's only me cooking my soul for the world's feasting

It is now that I quander..............

Hence quandering I noticed the quarrel is within thine self...........

Linkage

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=320966

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=319524

hmmm interesting style... almost like you doubled up you're lines/bars... but it came out nice... the delivery was kind of cool... the way you finished off your lines.. as for emotion it was very glum... not as in bad... but like depressed sounding... but you came off nice with it and pulled of a pretty cool peice... not long so i dont have too much to say.

Blind to advancement's chances there's no rejoicing
Life missions seems like scene's seen yet have never been saw

^ sounded off... never been seen?

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=321636

Quote:

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Blind to advancement's chances there's no rejoicing
Life missions seems like scene's seen yet have never been saw

^ sounded off... never been seen?

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what I was saying there was Like you seen it already but didn't so it's never been saw...which means you never really seen it...kinda akward but it's correct I think...

I never really felt like I fully knew what you were talking about, and for me that just completely ruined the connectivity of this. I caught the thing about deja vu, but from there it just turned into a mass of things that sound intellectual. The entire piece was a strive to me; felt like you were trying to achieve something the whole time. The rhyme scheme was pretty decent, I usually cant stand that style but you worked it pretty well and the meter was able to hold up. Not too bad, I just think you're trying to impress people though.. and it makes the piece seem false.

I understand that and with this piece...the message was for the reader to place...like anything you find yourself doing over and over that doesn't have a postive affect or outcome on any situation...that's what I was getting at...and for the writing to impress part...lol...I write what I feel....but w/e..


thanks for the feed...appreciated.

I Liked this Alot.. The whole A-b-A-b Scheme.. Took alot Of Insight on the Vocab.. Loved the Creativity.. And At first I Was Wondering What the Repeatitivness Was..?? maybe I Still Dont Know.. was It the Quarrelsome??.. Overall Nice Piece..Maybe It Could Have been Taken like you Were Trying To Give Off.. But I Guess It's How One reads It To See How they Respond To It..good drop..

bump

yo i really liked this dropp..it was like ur were duplicatin ur bars .. but it was dope.. wen i was readin it i was able 2 follow along with it wit no problems n as i read it i got tha emotion as if u were depressed or sumthin.... but overall Great Drop.. and Amazing Read.. keep it up

hum. more on then poetic side here than anything......... nice imagery ideas though f'sho............ vocab seemed good.rhymes seemed ok , ..melodic tones were there in a musical sort of sense...........
i also quite liked the ending a lot . seemed to finish uit off well


keep doing yo thing

1

The flow was really good, I like how you changed stuff up on this on ebesides using the regurler scheme for making rhymes/raps/Hip-Hop. You had a great cisualization with this one, I can really feel the meotion and work put into this one. Keep it up. Oh, your vocabulary wasn't half bad also.

Feed appreciated...bump