The Essence of a Dream

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links coming

This was pretty dope, a little confusing in places because the way the piece is written gives the impression the narrator is rambling on about his crazy obsession with the dream state, and kind of hints that maybe he dosn't know the difference between dream and reality. You rhyme scheme was dope, a couple times it seemed forced but overall it was very dope and gave your piece alot of momentum. You wordplay was dope, very abstract though, be careful not to get lost in he imagery. All in all this was a pretty dope piece and an impressive multi-tasker

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ar-364996.html
RTF!!^^

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ar-364996.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...st-366289.html

thanks for the feed man...uppin

i dont recall reading anything from you in a while, let me just say that this was an ill piece write, very indepth emotion, and the beggining was truelly flawless, unconsciously sick. I mean the rhyme scheme was dope too, but i noticed that things started to drag on toward the end, but you deserve the props for opening up extremely strong. good exerpt right here.

...crushed dreams exist not in just dreams
Done things unimaginable through cut scenes
Lusting over some thing I had once seen
Busting, in through a place I had once been
Only to find déjà vu a familiar wanting

^well written man, ill keep an eye out for you, definitely.

yeah i've dropped a few pieces here and there man...thanks for the feed...glad you liked it...just tryin not to get slept on dig it lol.

up...

Now some of yall owe feed/
and those dat dont can hook me up/
wit some mo feed/

..............FIYAH!!!...haha lol i can rhyme like noobs

very nice peice hear. nice storytelllin abilities. enjoed the vocab. fav line was definately the premature line. great job

upsticality

First time reading your shit. I thought it was ill, pretty easy to ready, kinda hard to understand the first read through. I liked the flow, the rhymes were on point and i just kept on wanting to read.... you have any audios?

uping....please dont confuse it with the other one..you know.the one that has 75% of this title lol

nice piece i like the flow on it. Vocab was tight and i can sorta hear how it would drop on a track.

fav lines:

Peered through the looking glass with trapped eyes
And been a guest but only signed my name in graphite
Really here or perhaps I hang in the balance as a stalactite

No more, is my need for insecurities, only invest in secure
Securities come as what may, finger tip access for sure

In luxury, lecheries for some become treasury’s name
And maintain shameless aims to take aim at the same

overall 8.5/10

Yo this was crazy kid....
I do agree that the opening was the strongest point, an my favorite line was the " crush dreams exist, not in just dreams"....Tho when reading it I feel myself speeding up an slowing down, the rythme and ryhme scheme was very good....good shit homie...