Fence-sitting on the great divide.

I've got these ideas I've never shared with another soul,
and that's because I don't believe
anyone of you
has one.
And neither do I.

Listen; I have a secret-weapon
and I don't wave it around like a flag
because it's no weapon of mass destruction
but it builds as it breaks,
kills as it makes,
until it seems like it's always been here.

I have a gun that I keep under my pillow
so that I never dream my life away
thinking there are places I'm safe from myself.
This body is not a temple nor a sanctuary,
but a breathing cataclysm; an event
that will either fade into anonymity
like the history of all those who tried and failed
or haunt generations of skeptics until the day
reality is read like stone.
The deluge awaits me.
Been bottlin' emotions for so long,
love and hate tastes less like whiskey
and more like kerosene, spilling it over the edges
of right and wrong, dusk and dawn
until I cast shadows, blurred as truth,
with every step away from the sun.

I'm heading for something great -
I've got a secret weapon and I'm cleaning the dust off
so that my aim is true and my heart is pure
so that no one gets hurts and everyone saves themself
but I can't save myself.
No, I can't find anything worth saving.
And I don't mean to talk so much about myself
without saying who I am, but
the message is in the medium
and the soul within the vessel
so I'll let my work speak for itself
at the expense of being remembered as just another man
with a story to tell and a life to live.

You don't know who I am, and it's better that way
when the day comes that I finally see what I am
eye-to-eye,
Narcissus to reflection,
love to hate,
choice to fate
and whether there is within that pool of reflection
something
anything
I can call a soul.

I always liked your style of writing, so much that I feel as if it rubbed off on me a little as far as structure - I wish I had your ability to create music to the minds of your readers... Anywho. Good poem here, I loved your smoothness and how it layed out in grayscale to me. The last line of this piece kind of rocked me to the point of re-reading this. I wish I had more to say, but this is just another example of another great piece of writing produced by the guy we know as spoken

EDIT: and your second stanza was super creative.

Quote:

---

Listen; I have a secret-weapon
and I don't wave it around like a flag
because it's no weapon of mass destruction
but it builds as it breaks,
kills as it makes,
until it seems like it's always been here.

---

Dope writing man. I really dug this. I dig how there is a sense of mystery to everything you write.

Quote:

---

I have a gun that I keep under my pillow
so that I never dream my life away
thinking there are places I'm safe from myself.
This body is not a temple nor a sanctuary,
but a breathing cataclysm; an event
that will either fade into anonymity
like the history of all those who tried and failed
or haunt generations of skeptics until the day
reality is read like stone.
The deluge awaits me.
Been bottlin' emotions for so long,
love and hate tastes less like whiskey
and more like kerosene, spilling it over the edges
of right and wrong, dusk and dawn
until I cast shadows, blurred as truth,
with every step away from the sun.

---

Really, really enjoyed these lines, particularly the bold ones. The messiness of life's paradoxes was well conveyed and I thought the rawness of the stanza was dope. Piece as a whole was nice - but this stanza, for me, was the heart of it.

You have a natural, powerful way of creating images in this poem. You gave us some powerful shit that seem so organic, yet they strike us. The line abi pointed out is one of them.
You have an interesting tone, almost as if this were a performed piece. Something about that voice is interesting to me... I find it to be so powerful because the build up and climax is easier to find. To me, it makes a piece more readable. That said, there is a difference between text and performance, and you have that balance.

Great piece. Deserves HoF, just like everything else you fuckin write or the most part

'so I'll let my work speak for itself
at the expense of being remembered as just another man
with a story to tell and a life to live.'

First piece I've read from you - this being my first day n'all, but I can see why you seem to command respect around here, lol.

The first few lines were packed with raw emotion, it's like your character has given up, it's so pessimistic, it makes for interesting reading. Love the overall tone of the piece and the structure. I'll deffo be coming back to read more from you.