-]DaRkNeSs[- {Dulce & De*Mise AIM Cypha}

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...885#post940885
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=94825
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=94810

This was an AIM cypher collab I did wit my boy De*Mise a lil while ago just cypherin about evil you know just fuckin around

*DuLcE~MuErTe*=red
De*Mise=black

I Can see the Devil but His Evil Aint on My Level, Bevel His Soul....Body's in Piece‘s, Choppin up Neice's, I Create Disease's....Wanna know my Thesis, Im Twisted.... Im the one Who put the Nail's In Jesus, BELIVE THIS!! Im Sick

Fuck that De*, the "Real Jesus"// got Xed out when I destroyed Marys fetus// Now YOU believe this, another one, another son born when times was tougher// Died for our sins but yet we still continue to suffer// I'm your worst fears, nightmares, horror and terror in one// but the wrath jus begun, you spit bullets? well I'm the gun// I control til all mankind is my son//

Un-Wind??? I’m The Chosen One, Hell-Fire And BrimmStone….The Lone Surviving Clone Of Hell, Alone and Trapped In the Confines Of My Inner Cell…..As My Soul Simmers I watch as the Saber’s Glimmer, I would Ask the Lord to Forgive me but I’m a Natural Born Sinner

Faith is an obsession with pointless confessions// cuz for ya girl, Heavan's just plain outta the question// I know where I'm goin and where I belong// Conquerin you fools of man on Satan's right arm// I don't claim evil it seaps through Flooded veins// out the tip of my fingers til they engulfed in ya blood and brains//

Heat-Seek While the Future Is Bleak, Mere Mortals Prepare for there De*Mise When The Portals Open And I Rise from Beneath, I will Never Release My Grasp On My Belief’s from the Past….I Never Asked, I was Blessed With Insanity, A Life of Calamity…The Rhyme is Affecting My Sanity

Well I was blessed with inhumanity// every word uttered profanity// young ones cover ya eyes an ya ears too// I'll fake bein sane jus ta get near you// And lick the liquid fear from ya face before puttin the spear through// Ya one and only clear view will be my smile for ya cries// Now reap MY De*Mise, as the blood slowly is flooded in ya eyes// Fuck what God forbids, I'm the one closing ya eyes wit lids// and have ya body rotting ready for flies ta have kids//


......honest feedback please.......thanks

dope collaboration with your homie. It sounded well organized and well written. Mad props on the real.

Thank you for the feed......I'll return the favor if you got anything up

Uppin for more feedback RB.........1

This was alright.....but dont put it in paragraph form put it line on top of line and try to make the lines the same length....the flow was pretty good, got off at a few spots but it was good overall....Vocab for both people were good nothing really wrong with it....Overall this was a pretty good piece just work on the structure.

yeah i agree with masta.....but yeah nice collab.........but i never did like coloured text, puts me off........all in all not baad.....Pz

I've always done my shit in colors........just habit.....anyway thank you for the feedback uppin for some more please.......1

This was a straight piece. I like how you have a consistance flow through out the whole collab. You guys make a good team. Be sure and tell me the next time you drop somthing down. Aight.

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

Sounds like a piece from a message board called Ell-Oh, where DeMiSe used to reign supreme :D, am I correct? Anyway, nothing strikingly good or bad; unfortunately, it landed in the vast level of mediocrity. If I was you, I'd start from the beginning - pick a more complex topic & build on it. . You've got potential & a lot of people will like that style, but, unfortunately, it doesn't quite float my proverbial boat. G'luck!

i really liked it
how long did it take?
pm me, i love those rappin' girls

7.6/10

Actually it wasn't a well thought out piece.......if you read the top you would see it was done on AIM me and De* was just cypherin back and forth........lol @ koalatee......umm i really don't know what ya talkin bout maybe he put it up there i dunno........but I put it up cuz like I said it came out pretty hot for an AIM cypha.......wasn't really tryin to be complex wit this one just str8 cypherin........smh.......anywayz, uppin for some more feed......1

alright but structure let it down..............alrite piece though......Liked the first guys first few bars........ill......

6.99/10..............verging between good n very good

Structure??......Ok it's done that way cause it was taken straight off of the AIM box and it's split like that so you can tell who is who.........smh.......whatever uppin