'Got That Login Feeling

Square one, forever falling for instance, instant existence
another abject freeze frame enprisoned, step two is visions decision
Picture the prism, interal- inner adolescence, adult depression
expressed antisocially, dressed focally the Adolf in question
On a message board, regular captive, infact few stand hightops
an ironic oxymoronic alliance, I'm Mr. Black shoes and White socks
Cloaked in a common persona to blend with bitches and the C front
tonight is not on the cards, not suited for this as I read "trump"
Its a steep run of the "mill", faking street on righteous paths
eyes are the window to the soul shown through the sightless mass
Something which I did lack, fighting back was my alias "Peter Out"
I've lost track of time, and drawn out battles was the reason how
An earpiece applicance that overhauls defiance with hate calls
whats the threat of death when living life is already so painful?
Observing the rainfall, the computer chair conquests as throne
with the hold of A Margo, enough to leave all impressed in Rome
Fester from below or under the thumb, its hard to even get up
anxious to be stuck as part of this AOL community and it sucks!
The words "You brought it on yourself" were finally that illusive
it was plain to see that feelings confusive were only just denial!!
Hit with milestones, HERE making nothing of a tentative existence
No employement, I must be useless, in all smoothness I'm friction
Description- encyrpted, No one wants to know about the falsely born
If my older sister was still alive, I'd be nothing to even mourn
I probably aren't anyway, everyday, involves nothing in slow motion
A rueful cycle of too much slumber and still im never no Trojan
Its hopeless, half the time no-ones home, not fit for commonplace
the embarresment, even in the mirror I wish I saw a foreign face
Wonder how the porridge tastes? Lifes sentence in the Necronomicon
I'm at one with this choir of swans and the song is all wrong
Hope its all gone- this shithole of a life, the bottomless pitfall
its pitiful, I'll teeter the hole, I'd like to implode, individual
..minus himself, finding myself is harder than finding companions
aliennation means no-one understands me, like talking to Spaniards
Or Italians, so I use Italic trends to express in text
what the spirit can posses... to a buddylist that is meaningless
So thee exists, Asterisk pointing to me Asterisk, Here to con time
I'd love to walk the "tight" rope once, spend some more life "online"
From day one it went down hill, I'll never get over the hill...
...Hopefully anyway, I love you void Eternally Yours,

N-Demik

:stupid:

Picture the prism, interal- inner adolescence, adult depression
expressed antisocially, dressed focally the Adolf in question

wicked lines right there, maybe they should have been the opener? they really cought the attention and made me think "what the fuck does this nutbar mean?!" but in a more positive way. And as usual, the proper use of improper multies. :P

Its a steep run of the "mill", faking street on righteous paths
eyes are the window to the soul shown through the sightless mass

word, I think I wrote a run of the mill line like this. I'll see if I can dig it up for you later lol. the second line is the most quotable thing I have heard in a while.

An earpiece applicance that overhauls defiance with hate calls
whats the threat of death when living life is already so painful?
In your cushy cushy computer seat? hardly painful =)
I'm kidding, they are good lines, and I mock you because of my insecurity. I didn't understand the earpiece appliance very much, unless you meant a phone. Sound more like you're talking about a hearing aid though.

Observing the rainfall, the computer chair conquests as throne
with the hold of A Margo, enough to leave all impressed in Rome
I don't get the second line, I don't know what a Margo is. I think it was the name of a hooker on Mad Tv, but other than that, it leaves me lost. The first line makes me ejaculate though.

The words "You brought it on yourself" were finally that illusive
it was plain to see that feelings confusive were only just denial!!
you flipped the line funny....it flowed but didn't rhyme. Say what?

Hit with milestones, HERE making nothing of a tentative existence
No employement, I must be useless, in all smoothness I'm friction
I am making that my MSN name in a moment. Where do you think of this shit? It is perfectly flowing and it illustrates emotion as clearly as in possibly could, and is still abstract. I have said it before, and I will say it again. You are a jerk :P

So thee exists, Asterisk pointing to me Asterisk, Here to con time
I'd love to walk the "tight" rope once, spend some more life "online"
From day one it went down hill, I'll never get over the hill...
...Hopefully anyway, I love you void Eternally Yours,

N Demik

a beautiful ending to a superb piece, you fiend.
It seemed to trail off while remaining on the topic, but the asterisks confused me a lot. I know have a fixation on askterisks. You bastard.

Great work dood, the smiley was a nice touch.

mave geniusly broke this down....
this was as much poetic as it was lyrical and rap.....some of the realist concepts and text seen....every expression and word fit this perfect and was imaculent in all aspects very good read and great expressionyou have a great talent and passion for this.

wow, this was a great piece, extrodinary vocab and amazing wordplay, the way you described everything and rhymed your lyrics was awesome, great piece it was excellent, Keep it up.

Peace

Okay.. This was a great read..

Your vocab was complex, which keeps it interesting.. I saw quite a few lines with juxatposition.. The flow was flawless.. Reminded me of a somewhat.. Canibus style.. Some okay wordplay in there to add nicely..

Very dope. Also you british muh'fucker get at me on aim :)

Thanks for the feedback..

Oh and A Margo is a "She devil", Pat :)

your scheme always has me reading the first couplet more then once to get the feel for the flow - but usually i can see it's slower then other pieces, almost a poetic flow to it

something similar to old fashioned literature - the couplets are packed with a lot of alliteration, and syllable schemes

i loved the following bars the most -

"An earpiece applicance that overhauls defiance with hate calls
whats the threat of death when living life is already so painful?"

good piece, yo - hit me back if you got the time

Thanks for the reply Lowd :)

Always nice to see people from back in the day dropping feedback.

I knew this would get to page 5 in a couple of days :rolleyes:

This was a really nice peice hommie. I was feeling the flow, the imagery, the rhyme scheme. You did it all in this, it was a good read. Not to long or to short, for me at least. I like your word usage, really caught my attention. Nice drop hommie...

---> Return the favor and check the flow in my sig hommie...

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

"an ironic oxymoronic alliance"--fav description

a vast vocab

excellent wordplay and topic

keep on postin man............................................... ..

Thanks for the replies :)

nice piece flow was good vocab ok flow good wordplay good punchlines and multis ok over all 6.5-7/10