open mic post

sup everyone? I aint posted in like 2 months so holla fa dolla. And to ma dawgs on here like D-blizz and my peeps whats really good?
But yall peep on dis and hit me back:

magnify the desire of the world to the fire/
They burnin the rubber down to the wire/
3 Deminsions the rule is made with no existing exceptions/
Pick up a mic and shed it got good reception/
Pigeon jus said it true cuz this life is a deception/
Mirrors at a glancin seein peoples dancin in reflections/
"Ghost runnin fa governor" readin dates for elections/
who is da openent runnin up against/
Da one u see ma back turned to who's up against da fence/
Graffiti filled walls in back alleys from joints/
Passes out blank pages I fill wit pen points/
The canidate is here with his vice president/
Knockin on doors from porch floor askin for the resident/
Its evident that the pride u seek is irrelevant/
Ask me son, why do you think I am the 5th element/
Nick named the son to the Mic and the father of cidement/
Dirt and ash form one such as me, the greatest with out questionin/

( I kno I aint the greatest so yall dont hop on me bout dat but tell me what ya'll think.)
Peace easy,
Ghostface K.
aka
"5th Element"

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, thanks.

But this was ok....structure could use some work though i think, try keeping them around the same length so it helps the flow out and keeps it structured good...try adding some more multies and internals to this to help it out....but overall this was ok...keep at it.

i think this could use some work...like on ya multis, but as it is its ok.....some decent vocab n flow seemed good for the most....

who is da openent runnin up against/
Da one u see ma back turned to who's up against da fence/

^^thought hte flow fell here though....but overall not bad...keep at it...pZ....

yo dis was aight like evry1 else said...flow was good..structure 2..
try addin some multis n up ur wordplay homie....keep elevatin n ur joints will be tight

return de favor
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=99504

Flow Was Nice...Iight ...3mics

Well dawg i'm gonna break dis shit down like dis for u, alright homie.

STRENGTHS
nice metaphors, flow, and overall creativity dawg.


WEAKNESSES
you need to leave at least 3 links or else your thread will be of course deleted, anyway you got jus about everything down pat jus use MULTIS and try not putting backslashes at da end of your rhymes.





!!!!!!!TIGHT FLOW MAN, KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!